Does God Still Want Me After What I’ve Done? Shame, Survival & Redemption – Jeanne Roberson

Jeanne Roberson knows what it feels like to believe you’ve gone too far for God to ever want you back. Groomed, manipulated, and trafficked into the adult entertainment industry at 17, her life spiraled into addiction, exploitation, emotional and physical abuse, post-abortion guilt, and deep spiritual warfare. For years she believed her past defined her and her mistakes disqualified her.

But God met her in the darkest places.

In this episode, Jeanne shares her journey from being trapped in an identity built on survival to discovering the Savior who offered her freedom, forgiveness, and a new name. If you’ve ever wondered, “Would God still want someone like me?” — this conversation is for you.

Because the answer is yes. He does. And Jeanne is living proof.

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Links to connect with Jeanne Roberson:

Website

Facebook Page

Facebook 

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Transcript

Israel Caminero: 0:05

Before we jump into today's episode, I just want to take a moment to thank all of you who've been listening, sharing, and supporting the Living Testimonies Podcast. Your love, your prayers, and your encouragement truly keep this ministry moving forward. If you haven't already, make sure you like, share, and subscribe so you don't miss any of the powerful stories God is using to touch lives. And if the podcast has blessed you, I want to encourage you this year to share it with just one person who might need hope or encouragement. You never know how God could use that simple step to change a life. My goal for 2026 is simple: to reach hearts in places we haven't reached yet. New communities, new listeners, and people who desperately need to hear that God is still moving. With your help and with every share, we can grow this ministry far beyond what any of us can imagine. Before we begin, I want to speak a quick blessing over you, which is found in Philippians chapter 4, verse 7. May the peace of God which surpasses all understanding guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. I pray this episode brings you hope, strength, and a fresh reminder of God's faithfulness. Now with hearts open and expectations high, let's step into today's story. Welcome to Living Testimony, Stories of Faith and Redemption. I'm your host, Israel Caminero, and I hope that everyone that's listening is blessed and doing well. My guest today is Jeanne Roberson, and I'm honored to welcome her to the show. Jeanne, thank you so much for being here, for trusting this space with your story.

Jeanne Roberson: 2:04

I am an author, speaker, uh, and survivor, and I work in the Christian film industry.

Israel Caminero: 2:15

And as always, she's here to share her testimony. But before she does that, I'd like to let all the listeners know that wherever you are right now, if you're driving, sitting quietly, or just trying to make it through another day, my prayer is that this conversation reminds you that God sees you, knows you, and has never stopped pursuing you. Before we begin, I would like to pray. And I'd like to say, Father God, we come before you with gratitude and humility. Lord, we invite your presence into this conversation and into the hearts of every person listening. You are the God who redeems, restores, and resurrects what the world tries to destroy. We ask that you cover Jeannie with peace and strength as she shares today. Let your spirit guide our words and guard her heart. Lord, for anyone listening who is carrying wounds from the past, confusion in the present, or fear about the future, we ask that you would meet them right where they are. Let truth replace lies, let hope rise where despair once lived, let your love be felt in a very real way. Jesus, you are the light that shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome you. We give this time to you and trust what you will unfold in Jesus' name, Amen.

Jeanne Roberson: 3:28

Amen.

Israel Caminero: 3:30

So, Jeanne, let's start from the beginning. What was like for you as a child? What kind of environment did you grow up in?

Jeanne Roberson: 3:38

Uh, I wish I could say it was a positive environment, but I I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. My mother was one of the youngest of 20 children. And we had eight children in our family. But I always said I think my mother lacked the nurturing and love she needed to be a mother. And I think that some of her own issues kind of infected us as we were growing up, my brothers and I. I'm the oldest, I'm the only girl out of the eight kids. And at 14 years old, um, I left home. But I but I want to go back first and I want to just say that there was a time when I was 11 that my mother and father separated. And during that time, there was a little there was a little church that heard my dad was raising a bunch of kids by himself. And they came to the house and they invited us to come to their church. Now, my dad didn't want to go, but they offered to send a bus to pick up me and my brothers, praise God, because in that little church, when I was 11 years old, I accepted Christ as my savior.

Israel Caminero: 4:45

Amen.

Jeanne Roberson: 4:46

Now, having said that, my mother came back, my parents reunited, and uh she had decided that she felt judged by the congregation. She didn't go to the church, but she didn't like the idea that we were going. And she stopped us after several weeks once her and my father got back together. And that was my only experience with church. The dysfunction continued until at 14 years old, I got on a Greyhound bus and I left where we lived in Massachusetts, and I went to Fort Pierce, Florida, where we had lived a few years earlier when I was a kid. I had friends there, and my parents took us away in the middle of the night and uh left owing rent and things like that to the landlord, and they brought us back to Massachusetts. But when I went away from home, I reconnected with a friend. I ended up meeting a man. Uh, I was 15 years old. I became pregnant. He was extremely abusive physically and emotionally, and I lost a baby, got pregnant again, and the abuse continued, the physical abuse, it was extremely, extremely violent. And I managed to escape him. And being pregnant, I I felt like I had no choice except to go back home. I had my son when I was 16, and a month later I met my trafficker. My trafficker was a woman who I had been introduced to through a waitress where I used to have breakfast once in a while while I was pregnant. Well, this woman presented herself as being an agent, and she convinced me to become a dancer in a strip club. Now I just turned 17. She brought beautiful costumes, like gorgeous gowns that zipped up the side, feathered boas, fans, wigs, makeup. She taught me how to uh put on false eyelashes and convinced me that I was gonna be a star. And when I went to my mother with the idea, my mother was thrilled. She thought I'd been discovered. She uh so this woman sent me on the road. She took a uh portion of my pay from every night that I worked, in addition to what I believe the club paid her. And basically what she did was she recruited girls, and she couldn't make a living without the income that she received from these young girls, 16, 17. I wasn't even old enough to drive, Isaiah. She had to have a driver, and we had to pay the driver to get us to and from clubs. So this is called grooming. This woman was a perfect perfect at what she did. And because of the dysfunction and the introduction to um pornography and such that my mother had exposed me to, I was I was a prime target for her. All she had to do was walk in the door. And I ended up becoming uh very active in the adult entertainment industry as a dancer. I did three shows a night. I traveled around the country. I should say the country, I traveled around New England primarily later dancing in Florida in my older years. But I believed during that time that the grace of God was upon me because I had found myself in so many terrible situations that I shouldn't be here speaking to you right now. But that that grace, I think, that I received when I accepted Christ as my savior stayed with me during all those years. Now, at 17 years old, you know, you're in a club every single day, you're encouraged to be drinking because that's how they make their money.

Israel Caminero: 8:44

Right.

Jeanne Roberson: 8:44

Um, and uh I mean, by the time I was 19 years old, I was a full-blown alcoholic trying to raise, you know, this young child. And I stopped traveling. I asked her if I could work in a club that was local to where I lived, which it was at that point that I was able to stay in my home living in the projects. And I mean, she had promised me that I would be a star. She was going to make sure that I made enough money that I would be able to get off wealthier, that I wouldn't have to live in the projects anymore, that I could buy a house with a yard for my son to play in. The scenario that she presented at my young age and being as vulnerable as I was just made it sound like, wow, there couldn't be anything better than this. And having my mother's approval, I I had no way of knowing that what I was doing really was wrong.

Israel Caminero: 9:46

Right.

Jeanne Roberson: 9:46

I visualized myself, I wasn't selling my body, I wasn't a prostitute, but in a sense, I was selling my body um because of the tips I received, and you know, and what we know today about that business is that anyone that works in that business, they're a sex worker. And the fact that human trafficking, you know, has become more obvious to uh more people these days, it's easy to see that there are a lot of girls that are probably still in that industry that have been trafficked into it and don't even realize. And that's where I, you know, I'd love to talk about grooming a little bit because grooming is something that happens. Traffickers traffickers will manipulate to find their victims. Usually they're vulnerable people, children, kids, young people, they're isolated, they don't have a lot of input. A lot of times they're they come out of the foster care system, they're runaways. These are the type of kids that traffickers look for, vulnerable kids, and then they try to fill their need. In my case, my need was financially, I was living in the projects and I was uneducated. That was a need that she filled. I didn't need to be educated to do to dance. And I continued in that business until I was, you know, uh almost 38 years old because I met my husband in that industry. As an alcoholic, yeah, I spent years trying to battle that disease, and I just couldn't get a handle on it until finally I had hit a bottom. I went to an AA meeting, and I was able to pull myself together. And I remember after my first meeting, I came home that night and I lit a candle and I got on my knees and I just asked God. I just cried out and I just asked God to help me to do whatever He needed to do, put the people in my life that I needed, but I needed to change and I didn't know how. And my faith was strong. I believed in God. I knew that, you know, I had such a passion and I I saw the joy in the Christians that I went to church with when I was 11 years old, and I wanted what they had, but my life took such a hard direction in the opposite direction that it seemed impossible to have. I had an abortion during those younger years. I think I was, I think I was in my early 20s, and I remember I was almost four months pregnant, and I remember thinking to myself, there's nothing wrong with this, it's not a baby, because this is what we were told. Shortly after I had the abortion, it seemed like everything in my life had just fallen apart. The guy I was with, we broke up with after the abortion, the house I was trying to buy, that fell through. I looked at myself as being a terrible mother, and at the time I was still drinking, and I decided that I was just gonna give up and commit suicide. And I took every pill I had in the house, and I remember calling my stepmother, and then I dropped the phone and I was in the process of dying. I actually rose above my body, and I saw myself laying on my kitchen floor in a puddle of vomit. I could see the the canisters on the counter, I could see the curtains on the window, I could see everything, and all of a sudden I saw EMTs working on my body trying to bring me back. My stepmother from Massachusetts had called emergency and had them break into my house. And that saved my life because I was on the edge of actually crossing over into death. And they had been working on me, and all of a sudden everything went black. So they I suppose that's at the point where they must have saved me because I next thing I knew, I was in a hospital. I woke up in a hospital. And even after that, there were still, you know, those few years until I got into AA. But once I did, that's when things really started to change. I felt like I was reunited with God. You know, I I started to feel a sense of um, I don't know, being cared for. I started feeling God's presence. And I I began to trust, you know, as the 12 steps, you know, recommended. You know, I started turning things over and looking at life as one day at a time. And I knew that I wanted to get out of that industry. And I was so trapped, I didn't think it was possible. But I'll tell you, right before my first anniversary, I had something happen while I was on stage. I had a cold wind blow through me. And as I was getting closer to the customers, the men that were sitting at the stage, I noticed that their faces looked this dark grayish color, and their eyes had no life in them. Their faces just looked like they were stoned. And I was so terrified by what I saw because they all looked the same. I backed away from them, and then I walked off stage, I went in the dressing room, and I couldn't speak. They ended up bringing me to the hospital, and I was diagnosed as having a psychotic event. But this was a week before I was supposed to share my testimony with AA. And I believed that God was showing me the evil in the hearts of those men. I don't believe that it was a psychotic event. I believe that God was allowing me to see the darkness that of that industry and what I was in and what I was really dealing with. And it was shortly after that that I finally quit dancing. And my husband was upset. He wanted me to continue in the business, even though he had a good job. We had a nice lifestyle. We drove nice cars, we lived in a resort area of Rhode Island and close to the ocean. And you know, he didn't want the lifestyle that we had to end. So after I had my first child, I was able to stay out of the business for a year, but then I had to go back. The thing about that industry is it it sucks you in. You become addicted to the alcohol, you become addicted to the money, the attention, and it just sucks you in. And no matter how hard you try to get away, I had other jobs. I went to work for the cruise lines. What a fabulous job I had. I was a gift shop girl. I traveled all over the Caribbean. I worked on three different ships. What an opportunity. I worked with celebrities. But even that, my alcoholism, I was still drinking at that time, you know, kept me from having good, healthy relationships. There were no Christians in my life until I met a young girl who was a cabin mate, and she really she introduced me to the poem Footprints in the Sand, and she convinced me to leave the ship, go home, and become a mother to my son again. So I had gotten sober, I was back home. This incident happened at the club. I was married to my husband, we had two kids, and when I finally was ready to quit dancing, there were a series of events happened. My stepfather died, my parents lived in the Keys. They had an ocean front home with a double wide canal in the back. Three weeks after I had moved, left my husband and moved in with my mother in the Keys, a hurricane hit and completely destroyed the entire street. And it was at that point that I just looked up at God as I'm standing in the rubble, everything is destroyed. And I just said, Lord, I don't know what you want me to do. I've been sober, I quit dancing, I opened a shoe store, I joke a lot, I went into the soul business and I stood in the midst of that rubble, and I just I didn't know, you know, what to do next. I was now homeless with a mother who was grieving the loss of a companion. And I had my two daughters, and I had just left my husband. But God opened the floodgates, I say. He he he opened the floodgates. I ended up um continuing to to open my store, and I had no merchandise yet. So I decided to use this store as a housing board. I created a board and I got a hold of the news media. The newspapers only came out twice a week. So it was frustrating. You know, everything was destroyed in Marathon. There were few places to live that um and as properties got repaired, the news picked it up and the radio, and they invited people to come into Inspiring Souls Shoe Store and put their information on the board. And if anybody was looking for housing, they could come to the store and be able to see what was available. I ended up finding a lovely little place for my daughters and myself to live through the housing board, and I helped hundreds of people find housing. Somebody from the Red Cross had been in town with FEMA and all the insurance adjusters, and they heard what I was doing. They came to my store and they recruited me into becoming a Red Cross volunteer, which I was for over 20 years. And my life just took a drastic turn. I mean, I I started seeing God working in my life. It was a journey, it was a faith journey. It and it didn't happen overnight. I mean, there were a lot of times when I tripped. Um, you know, I didn't stay sober forever. Uh there were times when I had slips, but I had enough faith that I Was able to get right back on track again. And as I continued to, you know, work in my business and the store, go to meetings and get involved with um the church groups in the area and all the different organizations helping to rebuild after that hurricane. I just changed. It just God just I started recognizing spiritual gifts. He started showing me that if I stayed faithful under any circumstance, it didn't matter that I lost a home. Just trust that he was going to provide. That's right. He provided for every need I had.

Israel Caminero: 20:39

So I have a question. I know you kept struggling going back and forth between the industry and then surrendering somewhat. So what was the hardest thing for you to surrender to God? And what did he begin to replace it with?

Jeanne Roberson: 20:55

I think the hardest thing for me to surrender to God was the attachment I had to my husband, actually. I loved my husband, and and to be honest, even though I had left him, I he was the love of my life. And after we divorced, he remarried a woman with the same name as me, 18 years younger with three kids. And I was devastated. But they divorced three years after that. My husband came back to me. I was living in the Keys and I had left and had a house built north of Miami. But he came back after she left him. But what I realized is that God wanted me to put him first.

Israel Caminero: 21:37

Right.

Jeanne Roberson: 21:39

Not money, not material things. I lost all the material things in the hurricane. That was a lesson. And I think that you know, as God took all these things from me, He allowed them to be taken from me, that's when I started to realize that I don't have to have this man in my life. If I have God in my life, He's gonna fill every other need I need filled. So in answer to your question, I think that was the hardest thing for me to come to learn is that God needed me to put him first above everything else.

Israel Caminero: 22:17

Amen.

Jeanne Roberson: 22:18

And by doing that, that's how my faith grew in him. That's how I started trusting that maybe I don't have a job right now, or maybe I don't have a place to live right now. But if I stay faithful and I continue to pray and read my Bible and just look up and trust, one day I'll go by, another day I'll go by, and eventually God's gonna put somebody or something in my life that's gonna take me into the direction that's gonna be better for me, but in accordance with his will.

Israel Caminero: 22:55

That's right. He was just waiting for your yes.

Jeanne Roberson: 23:00

I love that. Yes, he was waiting for my yes, and I think that came once my husband remarried the other woman. I had to learn for a few years that that's oh well, I guess that's it. But you know, God loves us so much, Israel, that He gave me back everything I lost and more. So after I sold, after I sold my property and the Keys, I had a house built north of Miami. Once I moved into the house and I decorated it, the builder who built the house came to me and asked me if he could use the house as a model home because he didn't have a model built and it was going to take him a little while to build it. He offered to pay my mortgage, taxes, insurance, and he paid for and gave me a cell phone so that he could call me when he had someone that needed to look at the house. He paid my mortgage and and I had this cell phone for a year and a half. Imagine that. Talk about God giving you back.

Israel Caminero: 24:04

That's right.

Jeanne Roberson: 24:04

I mean, God gave me everything I got, everything I lost in the hurricane. Now here I was living in a brand new house for a year and a half, and I didn't even have to pay for the mortgage. I mean, that was pretty incredible. Yes, that's God, that's God. He will take care of us, but we have to stay faithful. I could have never seen that coming. I could have never imagined that anything like that would happen to me. Now, as I continued, I eventually had been diagnosed with cancer. I was gonna have my eyelids done. And the doctor sent me for some blood work prior to during the surgery. Very simple inpatient, outpatient outpatient surgery. But when I went for the blood work, my white cells had come back elevated. And come to find out, I had a cyst the size of a golf ball on my right kidney that was cancerous. So it had to be removed right away. And shortly after the surgery, a friend of mine had come to me and said, Would you be interested in going to a writer's conference with me? Well, I didn't have anything to do, I was just recovering. So I flew to Florida, or it was actually North Carolina, it was the Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writers Conference, 2016. I was a month after having the surgery done. And at that conference, I started telling my story about being a dancer to people. And somebody had said to me, I'm so sorry. She said, You were trafficked. I said, Oh no, no, I wasn't trafficked. I said, That's something I decided to do on my own. And she said, But you were trafficked. And she broke down for me how I was manipulated and how I was groomed, and how I was brought into the industry as a dancer. And from that point on, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I would have never thought in a million years that I had been trafficked. That's how I realized that's how subtle grooming is. But as we went into that writing conference, I took away the need to write a book. And that's when I really started working on writing. Through some other writing conferences I went to, I also met a producer who did Christian films. And I started working on Christian a Christian film with him, and he was telling the story of a woman uh who I knew well, who had written a book about uh post-abortion um and grieving. And we worked on that film together, and then I worked on a few more, and what I started recognizing is that God was filling the desires of my heart. These were all things that was promised to me when I was brought into the adult entertainment industry by that woman. I was promised to be, you know, doing doing all of these things that a young girl looks at herself as being a celebrity or whatever. But by the time I had been given those opportunities, God had worked enough on my heart that I was humble. And you know, sometimes you get brought into things like the movies and you know, being a publisher and interviews and things like that, and it can really go to your head if you're not ready. And God, God just made sure that I was ready to be able to handle that kind of recognition. Praise God, because I prayed, I do not want anything to come into my life that is not of Him. Amen. I, you know, I I've already learned, I learned my lesson through life that you know, I can't breathe without Him. That's right. I need His guidance in everything that I do. And that is where I'm at today. Everything I do, I pray about. I don't get overly excited if I'm invited to do an interview. I don't get overly excited if someone, you know, has invited me to um work on a film or I'm gonna be going to Compernium in January and uh with a film producer who I was speaking with today. And it's not to work on my own movies, it's to work on other movies. Eventually, my story will be made into a movie. There's a lot more to it. You could never explain it in a short interview.

Israel Caminero: 28:52

Right.

Jeanne Roberson: 28:53

Um, but God has done miraculous things with me. I actually happened to be working on a film in Palm Beach with a director. It was called the film's called God Will Listen. It's it hasn't been out yet. It's still pre-produced, it's it's it's still in the editing phases. But during the filming of that movie, I met a woman who I think she was playing an extra. And I was telling her my story about having been trafficked, and she recommended that I contact an organization in Palm Beach that um did uh fundraisers and built homes, little communities for uh trafficking victims. They uh helped and provided uh like a foster care system for aged-out foster kids because foster kids who are coming out of the foster care system, you know, they have nowhere to go. A lot of them have been so abused and they're so troubled. So this organization is faith-based. It's called Place of Hope, and it's a faith-based organization. So I gave them a call and you know, talk about giving back the desires of your heart. You know, these people put me on the front lines of their fundraiser. I didn't know what they would have me do. I could have been working with the kids, there's lots of things I could have done, but they put me um in uh as a volunteer working right in the area where all the philanthropists are, and there's six, seven hundred people. Their fundraisers are done at beautiful country clubs like um Marilago. Um, I'm at Mary-Lago every year. We just finished an event there a couple weeks ago. And I mean, this is where God has brought me from strip joints and gentlemen's clubs to the ballrooms of Marilago.

Israel Caminero: 30:47

Amen.

Jeanne Roberson: 30:49

If that is not giving you back everything and more, I don't know what is.

Israel Caminero: 30:54

That's right. We serve a good God, like I said earlier, and he's always there. It's just a matter of us surrendering ourselves to him because he's just patiently waiting for us.

Jeanne Roberson: 31:06

Sometimes you know, Israel, I don't I don't know that it's just surrendering. We need to surrender, no doubt. But I think a lot of times God is there and we don't recognize him working in our life.

Israel Caminero: 31:17

Yep.

Jeanne Roberson: 31:18

I mean, I in my book I try to give little examples of you know how God fills the desires of our heart. And here's one. I my husband had given me a diamond earring, and I I'd lost a diamond set of diamond earrings. I had dropped one on the floor one day and I couldn't find it. It had been weeks. I looked everywhere and I vacuumed and I just figured it's gone, I'll never find it again. And then I stepped on it. As soon as I stepped on it, I looked up at God and I was like, Thank you, Lord. That was the desire of my heart that he filled. But sometimes we don't associate little things like that with God showing us how he loves us.

Israel Caminero: 31:59

That's right.

Jeanne Roberson: 32:00

And I feel that a lot of times there are ways that he does. God gave me the desires of my heart back by allowing me to dance. Now, here I I I was a good dancer. I I was determined that even though I was working in a club like I was, I was gonna I was gonna become the best at what I did. And I was good. I could do cartwheels, fall into a split, I had great timing with the music, I knew how to use the stage. I mean, I became a performer, even though it was in that capacity. But I was at a Christian writers conference one year, and it was for creatives. They had a night, they called the night of creatives. And if you did poetry, you would get up and read your poetry. If you had a if you could sing or play an instrument, my talent was that I could dance. So I had a Christian, there was a Christian song that I had been loving at the time. And I was able to dance in front of my peers for the Lord on a beautiful stage with beautiful lighting, and I gave the performance in my life.

Israel Caminero: 33:11

That's right.

Jeanne Roberson: 33:12

And but but instead of it being in the capacity that I did when I was younger, I was able to do it for God.

Israel Caminero: 33:20

Amen. He meets you where you're at.

Jeanne Roberson: 33:22

That's coming full circle, right?

Israel Caminero: 33:25

He definitely meets you where you're at. You see what he did there.

Jeanne Roberson: 33:29

Yes, yes. And I there I have a book that's being released in January. We're in the filing editing stages of it right now. It's called Shattered for Glory: A Human Trafficking Survivor's Journey to Freedom. And in that book, I talk a lot about trafficking, forgiveness, grooming, abuse, abortion, suicide, redemption. I share a lot of stories and give examples of how God has worked in my life and what the process of learning how to have faith was for me. Because it's not always easy. I mean, I went through a lot of things that a lot of things happened to me that I could have walked away from God, but something in me kept calling me back to him, and I started realizing that there was no greater love I had ever felt in my life, not from a man, not from my children, not from my family, than the love I felt from God.

Israel Caminero: 34:38

That's right.

Jeanne Roberson: 34:39

Even though I couldn't see him, I knew it was it was just a not only a feeling that I that filled me, but it was it was just the knowing. Like he keeps a car, a 2011 car that I bought new, 2011, it still runs great. Praise God. I thank him every day for it. I don't have to buy a new car, that one's paid off. Little things like that are ways that God shows me every day that he loves me, but a lot of people don't recognize those little things in their life. I I also say in my book, have you ever gone to a mall and tried to find a parking space at Christmas time? I think we've all done that. I said that little prayer, oh Lord, please let me find a space that's not way out there in Easter brew.

Israel Caminero: 35:34

That's happening.

Jeanne Roberson: 35:35

And then all of a sudden, yes, and then all of a sudden, there's a space. You know, those are the little things, and I learn, you know, I recognize them today, not as just being a coincidence, but as being that's God's way of showing me every day He loves me.

Israel Caminero: 35:53

Amen. Which leads me into my next question since you're talking about this. What has God taught you about grace, forgiveness, and his patience through your journey?

Jeanne Roberson: 36:05

Oh, wow, God has taught me so much. Forgiveness is one of the most important things into the healing and faith process. I could not be where I am today without being able to have forgiven all the different people that hurt me.

Israel Caminero: 36:23

Right.

Jeanne Roberson: 36:24

So my husband and I actually remarried on our original wedding date. And we're still married today. We have two beautiful grandchildren. Had I not learned how to forgive and accept him for who he was, and that we were not in the same place, we wouldn't be together today. Or we wouldn't have the relationship that we had. And I'm not that's not to say that everybody should remarry their husband, because certainly not. But there was always something that kept drawing me back to mine. And we have a good relationship today. My husband had cancer. I was able to bring him to the Lord. I was able to help him to understand, you know, you don't know if you're gonna live or die. This is gonna be the time where you're gonna have to make a decision. Where are you gonna go? Are you gonna go to heaven? Are you gonna go to hell? Do you believe that you're gonna go anywhere? You know, that's a choice that no matter who we are, we have to make. But but I forgave my mother, and I had the opportunity to hold my mother's hand and be with her when she took her last breath. Had I held everything against my mother that happened to me when I was growing up, I couldn't have done that. But there was healing that came from that, healing that came from forgiving my husband, healing that came from forgiving my mother. I had to forgive the woman who brought me into that industry and forgive the, you know, the man who men, I should say, because there was more than one that raped me. I mean, there were so many things that happened in my life and people that I could have held resentments for or said, that's it, I can forgive this, but I'm not gonna forgive that. But my true healing would not have come had I not forgiven. Because we can't we can't be a servant to the Lord if we harbor anything that's that's angry, resentful, or evil. And and actually those kind of feelings, they uh prevent us from growing and they eat us alive alive inside. And it's not hurting the other person because who knows where they are. The only person it really hurts is us. That kind of anger and resentment causes it causes things like cancer, it causes health issues, it creates stress in our life. We can't be the person that God has created us to be if we harbor those kind of feelings, anger, hurt. It doesn't mean that we have to continue to have a relationship with someone that we've forgiven.

Israel Caminero: 38:59

That's right.

Jeanne Roberson: 39:00

Quite often, I think we need to hold them at bay in many cases. But we also have to look at I did this with my mother. What caused her pain? Why was my mother willing to do so many things that caused me harm? She had her own issues, she was afraid of abandonment, she was afraid of being alone. She would have done whatever she could to please the man that she was with because she didn't want him to leave her. As as sick and dysfunctional as it is, I had to look at the purpose of what happened to that person to make them like they were. And in some cases, like I said, it doesn't mean that we have to bring that person back in our life.

Israel Caminero: 39:43

Right.

Jeanne Roberson: 39:43

But we heal and we we are freed.

Israel Caminero: 39:49

That's right.

Jeanne Roberson: 39:49

That is where my true freedom came from.

Israel Caminero: 39:52

Yeah, forgiveness.

Jeanne Roberson: 39:53

And that's why the book is titled Journey to Freedom.

Israel Caminero: 39:57

Yeah, forgiveness doesn't say what happened was okay. It's just basically uh refusing to let what happened control who you become. It's not for them, it's for your freedom, like you said.

Jeanne Roberson: 40:10

Mm-hmm. Which is why I say that. You know, I I'm a survivor. My journey took me to freedom, and that was the freedom and giving forgiveness. And, you know, from there, that's where God has been able to use me in so many ways to help other people. I have I've learned what my spiritual gifts are. God has blessed us all with spiritual gifts. And when we talk about our, when we talk about spiritual gifts, that discernment, that compassion, that desire to have a servant's heart and help. And, you know, once we all look at, gee, what are our what is my gift really? What am I really good at, you know, that I could use to serve God or help others? The greatest joy I've ever experienced in my life, Israel, is the joy of helping others.

Israel Caminero: 41:00

Amen.

Jeanne Roberson: 41:01

As a Red Cross volunteer, I was on the front lines of hurricanes, floods. I ended up teaching classes, helping others to understand how volunteering time can be so rewarding. You know, and a lot of times when we're going through stuff of our own that is painful, or we just don't know how to get out of it. Rather than sit in it, try to find a way where you can get out of yourself by helping somebody else. You know, there's a lot of people at Christmas time that are alone, whether they're kids, the husband has custody this year, or you know, uh a spouse just lost, you know, their spouse, uh, someone just lost their spouse. Go to a homeless shelter, offer to serve food, get out of your own pain and suffering by helping somebody else. It's amazing. One year I wrapped, I went to the dollar store, I bought a bunch of little things. I went through my house, things I didn't need anymore. I wrapped them all up with pretty paper and bows. I unannounced, mind you, I went to a nursing home and I just had my little bag with all my gifts. And I went in and I said, you know, I said, I know, I said, I don't know if you allow me to do anything like this. I said, but I'm alone for Christmas. I said, and I'd really like to just like visit with your residents and give them each a little gift. They were overjoyed, and it was one of the best Christmases I ever had.

Israel Caminero: 42:28

That's right. And I bet they loved it.

Jeanne Roberson: 42:33

Oh my gosh, they did. And I made friends. I I think a lot of those people, you know, they spend time alone, just like you're alone, they're alone. You know, and that I mean, there's so many different ways that we can do things that will help other people to find joy. We all want to be joy joyful, you know, and we all are in pain over different things, especially these days. I mean, I know this year it seems like I have so many friends that have lost a husband, or if you know, their husband is in the hospital, and I've shared some of the things I've I've done to get out of my own misery by helping other people. I could make a list. You know, there's so many things. So that's it. Look at your heart, examine what opportunities may be available to you, and help do something to help somebody else, because that's one of the best things we can do to get out of our own misery.

Israel Caminero: 43:31

That's right. Sometimes it blesses us. Not some. I should I shouldn't say sometimes, it will bless you because there's sometimes where you don't want to do something, but if you step out of the box and do it, there's a reason why you didn't want to, and that's the enemy stopping you from it. But once you do it, you know there was a reason that God wanted you to be there.

Jeanne Roberson: 43:50

That's right. You know something? I had a friend. I have a friend, okay. Her daughter was murdered in Boston. It was a fentanyl case, and she had one son and one daughter, and she cherished those kids, her and her husband. They had the perfect life. It was like they had the perfect life. They had money, they had a beautiful home, they had two beautiful children, a boy and a girl, exactly what they wanted. Her daughter didn't do drugs. She smoked a joint other than a pot, which is still drugs, don't get me wrong. But she smoked a joint that was lit laced with fentanyl, and she ended up dying, and it was considered a murder case because she died. But long story short, she was so consumed by by you know creating a landmark case for you know the guy who was involved in this. And there was so much that she was was just consumed by the hate and the anger. And I I I told her, I said, you know, I said, get involved. Write your story for a magazine, get involved, go to, you know, mothers, so get involved in some kind of a mother's group where you can share your story and help other mothers to get through the same thing you're going through. Because we've all been through hard things, but there's always somebody that's gonna come after us that's gonna be in the same place we were, and if we can be the voice that can help to bring them to a higher level of comfort or to a higher level of understanding, take that pain and turn it into purpose.

Israel Caminero: 45:32

That's right.

Jeanne Roberson: 45:32

I don't believe that God that allows anything in our life without a purpose for it.

Israel Caminero: 45:39

Amen. Amen.

Jeanne Roberson: 45:41

He will turn it into something good in some way or another.

Israel Caminero: 45:45

That's right. We don't we don't always know the reason, but there always is a reason. And and as humans, you know, we will never understand that.

Jeanne Roberson: 45:56

No, but if we I think if we can somehow find a way to use whatever it is that's happened in our life, and I mean that's one example, because it was hard with her. I really had to, you know, I just stay on her, just like for me. I had someone in my life when I was drinking, she must have called my house 20 times a day until I finally picked up the phone and called AA, and two women came to the door to get me, take me to my first meeting. You know, there's so many ways and so many things that happen, but there's so many ways that we can turn them into purpose. That's right. You know, allow God to use it.

Israel Caminero: 46:37

Amen. Well, Jeannie, I want to say thank you so much for your honesty, your courage, and your obedience to share what God's done in your life. You have an incredible testimony, and look where you're at now, is all I can say from where you were. And that's only because God had you in in his hand and has, and like you said, had a purpose for you.

Jeanne Roberson: 47:02

Well, he sure did. I could have never seen, I could have never imagined that the things that I'm doing today I would be doing.

Israel Caminero: 47:12

That's right.

Jeanne Roberson: 47:13

And I'm so filled with gratitude just being able to look at my life, at the people that I'm involved with, and I try to use every opportunity that I'm given to glorify God.

Israel Caminero: 47:29

Amen. I mean, how could you not? You know, I look at my past and I'm like, wow, it's it's it's it's amazing.

Jeanne Roberson: 47:39

Yes, mm-hmm. You've been put in a place where, you know, you have people that come to you to be able to share their testimonies, and that's a testimony is powerful.

Israel Caminero: 47:48

That's right.

Jeanne Roberson: 47:48

You know, to all the listeners, you know, to anybody that's out there listening, everyone has a testimony. You all have something to share. You know, find a place to share it. You know, whether it be if you're suffering from, you know, addiction or or the pain of the loss of a loved one, their groups, there are their organizations. I mean, when we get involved, and even church, you know, a lot of people have swayed away from church and you know, they don't feel the need to be in church anymore, especially after COVID. I think COVID drove people so far in that they got so accustomed to not going that it's taken some time for people to even want to go back to church.

Israel Caminero: 48:32

Yeah, it's that uh that you know I think it has to do with them televising it. Now people just sit at home comfortably in their living room and say, Oh, I'll just watch it at home, you know.

Jeanne Roberson: 48:45

But you know, that's we gotta be careful with that because you know that's where the enemy comes in. We're isolated when we're doing that. And it's important that we get out. So whether we're going to church or getting involved in some type of a group or organization to help, the the whole idea is to be connected to other Christ-like-minded people who are trying to do good and make a difference in the world.

Israel Caminero: 49:12

That's right. Before I ask you these questions, I want to say that the book that she shared and everything else that she shared on here, I will have links to all that on the description of the podcast if you want to go out and support her and buy her book and read it and uh watch the movies that she's been in and everything else. I always try to have my listeners go out and support the guests. So everyone that's listening right now, I will have links to all that on the description of this podcast. But my question for you is was there a specific scripture that anchored you or even today, uh, during the hardest times when you're having a bad day or anything like that, and what was that scripture and what does it mean to you?

Jeanne Roberson: 49:59

Yes, the scripture is Philippians 14, 3, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I just feel that that scripture so applied to my life because I learned that I could get through those difficulties, and there were many, many, many times that I went back to that scripture. That is my that is what I call my personal scripture.

Israel Caminero: 50:24

I I love that scripture too, by the way. Do you know what I love about that scripture?

Speaker 3: 50:30

What?

Israel Caminero: 50:31

The word all because he's not saying some, a little, he's saying all, everything. So that's what I love about that scripture, that he's not belittleing anything. He's saying you can do all things.

Jeanne Roberson: 50:47

Yes, regardless of how hard they are.

Israel Caminero: 50:49

That's right.

Jeanne Roberson: 50:50

Regardless of regardless of what looks like it's a it's a total brick wall.

Israel Caminero: 50:55

Yep.

Jeanne Roberson: 50:55

Uh no matter who else. We can break down those walls. And I'm sorry, what was the other question?

Israel Caminero: 51:02

Oh, I haven't asked it, but I will ask it now.

Jeanne Roberson: 51:05

Oh, okay. I'm sorry.

Israel Caminero: 51:07

Now we're going to my back to the past section of the podcast. What my back to the past section is: if the genie of today can go back in time and talk to the younger genie, what would you say to her that she didn't know then but you know now?

Jeanne Roberson: 51:24

I would say be wary of who you connect with and seek out getting to know God. God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit. Know that faith is there. And pray because even if you don't know God, you know about prayer. I think every human being on the planet knows the word pray. And even though you don't know God, pray and just say, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm a young kid, I'm influenced by all these other things going on. You know, show me what to do. Put somebody in my life that's gonna help me if you're really there. You know, I mean, when you're doubting that. Um, but but what I would say is uh be weary of strangers, be careful, you know, search your heart, don't jump in and make decisions right away. You know, sometimes that yes can really get you into trouble. Um, you know, and like I said, in my case, I didn't have the kind of guidance that I needed, but there was something in me that said, hmm, I don't know, is this really the right thing to do? I I absolutely distinctly remember thinking that. And the people that were in my life at the time thought it was the best thing since life spread. So all I can say is be careful, you know, don't get caught up in things. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Israel Caminero: 53:05

That's right. Use discernment.

Jeanne Roberson: 53:10

You know, and for not everybody understands Christian terminology.

Israel Caminero: 53:14

Right.

Jeanne Roberson: 53:14

Like I didn't know what discernment was.

Israel Caminero: 53:16

Right.

Jeanne Roberson: 53:17

I didn't know I there were so many things I didn't know what spiritual warfare meant. What? Yeah, you know, as I was growing my journey in faith, I had to learn all those terms.

Israel Caminero: 53:28

Yeah. Well, you know, you know, you live and learn too, you know.

Jeanne Roberson: 53:33

Yes, yes. I had to learn those terms of what they meant, but discernment is when you know we kind of have that sixth sense. It's kind of that that knowing, that deep internal knowing, where something says, it's like inside, you don't have to say anything, but your hand goes up and you feel, okay, I need to back down a little bit. Something about this doesn't feel right. Right.

Israel Caminero: 53:57

Amen.

Jeanne Roberson: 53:58

And that that will help us tremendously in our journey in faith, because there's so many people out there the enemy will use to to break us, to cause us to fall, to cause a heartache in our life, so that we won't remain faithful, so that we won't stay on the path that we're on.

Israel Caminero: 54:19

He's always seeking to destroy, you know. Yeah, you can't stop that.

Jeanne Roberson: 54:24

But absolutely. I did and you know, and the thing about you know, our early Christian, our early Christian experience, when we first are learning to have faith, and we're taking our baby steps in Christianity and getting to know God. That's the time when Satan will use the people in our lives. If they don't have Christ, and we do, and I this is something that I've really come to recognize Satan will they have a door that's left open, and Satan can work through them to try to break us. I I experienced this so much in my own family. Sometimes there were things that would be said in a heated argument that were so vile, I would look and say, How can that come out of this person? This is somebody who's supposed to love me. But then I would think about it afterwards, and I learned to stop feeding into the argument, and I learned to walk away, open my Bible, sit outside for a minute, and that was the way that I fought it, and it was amazing. Anytime that happens, I I I leave the argument, I open my Bible, I will read something I need to hear, and somehow it stops. It does not continue because the power of God is stronger than the power of Satan.

Israel Caminero: 55:43

That's right.

Jeanne Roberson: 55:44

But Satan will use those that are the closest to us to try to break our spirit. And when we start to recognize that that's what's happening, that's when we can elevate uh somewhat how can I explain it? Except we're we're put in a place where we can see what's really going on through spiritual eyes.

Israel Caminero: 56:04

That's right. He's definitely slick, that's why he slithers. But again, Jeannie, I just want to say thank you for your testimony and taking the time to just share it with my audience. And like I said earlier, I will have links to everything she shares on the description of this podcast. But before we wrap up, would you be willing to pray us out today?

Jeanne Roberson: 56:31

Oh, I would love to. Thank you so much. Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you, Lord, for bringing Israel and myself together. I thank you for giving him the encouragement to start a podcast that will help other people to come closer to you or be brought to salvation. I I thank you, Lord, for just giving us this opportunity to be able to share our hearts. I felt the Holy Spirit in this conversation know that you are with us. And I pray for the listeners, Lord. I ask that you cover them, Father, that you just hover, cover them with your love and your compassion. Touch their hearts, Father. Reach into them and just move them. May something I said or something Israel said, move them into a place where they will kneel down and cry out to you, where they will say, Lord, I need you in my life. Help me to change the circumstances that I'm in today. I just pray, Lord, that you will just help them to see where they do need a change and why it's so important. Because eternal salvation is something that we all want. We definitely don't want to be run and ruled by Satan. And without you, Lord, we don't stand a chance against Satan. And it's important, Father, that the listeners understand that. And I just pray, Lord, that you just bless each and every one who has heard this testimony today. And we thank you, Father. We thank you. In Jesus' name, amen.

Israel Caminero: 58:13

Thank you again. Thank you for that prayer, also. Right now, I just want to say something to the listeners. Today stirred something in your heart and knows that God hasn't finished with you. No matter your past, no matter your pain, redemption is still possible. Also, if this episode encouraged you, please consider sharing it with someone who may need hope right now. You can also follow the Living Testimonies podcast on your favorite platform and on social media to stay connected. And remember, no matter where you've been, no matter what you walk through, your story is still being written. This is Living Testimonies. Your story is glory.