From Religion to Relationship: How Jesus Met Her in the Darkness — Hope Pollard

Ever felt like you were doing all the “right” religious things, but still searching for something more? In this episode, Hope Pollard shares her powerful story of leaving confusion, heartbreak, and depression behind to discover the true freedom found in Jesus Christ.

Growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness, Hope always sensed there was more to Jesus than she was taught. After years of pain, abuse, and running from her past, God met her right in the middle of her brokenness and transformed her life completely.

If you’ve ever wondered whether real peace and healing are possible after deep hurt — this episode will show you that with Jesus, they are.

Transcript

Israel Caminero: 0:01

What's going on, family? This is your brother, Israel Caminero. And I just want to take a second to give God all the glory because today, guess what? We hit episode number 50. Wow. Listen, that's not just a number to me. That's 50 different stories of faith, redemption, healing, deliverance, and the power of Jesus Christ working through his people. When I first started this podcast, I honestly didn't know where it would go. I just knew God told me to share stories of faith and redemption, real stories from real people that let him do the rest. And look at what he's done. 50 episodes later, this podcast has written people all over the world. I've had folks message me some places. I've never even imagined states how one story changed their perspective, or how few someone else's testimony gave them hope again. You see, it's not about me. It's never lost, and it never is. It's about what God is doing to all of us. Every person that's shared their heart, every listener that's tuned in, every prayer that's been lifted up behind the scenes, this is your celebration too. I remember recording that very first episode of my head. I was nervous. I didn't know what I was doing, but God said, just start. I'll handle the rest. And we truly did it. And when we up and down to loss, the feeling to every guest that sat down and said, let me tell you what God did in my life. This platform has become more than a podcast, it's become a family. And I just want to say thank you to everyone who's been rocking with living testimony since day one. And to everyone who's joined along the way, whether you've listened once or 50 times, you've been a part of this move of God. Today we're celebrating not just 50 episodes, but 50 reminders that God is still in the business of turning pain into purpose and brokenness into breakthrough. So wherever you're listening from right now, take a moment and thank him with me, because he's faithful, always has been, and always will be. Right now I just want to take the time and pray and say, Heavenly Father, we just come before you today with hearts full of gratitude. Thank you, Lord, for bringing us to this moment. Fifty episodes of your goodness, your grace, and your glory being shared through the lives of your people. Thank you for every story that's been told, every tear that's been shed, every person who's found hope again through these testimonies. Father, this platform has never been about numbers or recognition. It's been about you. You've taken broken vessels and turned them into living proof that you still heal, deliver, and restore. Lord, I thank you for every guest who had the courage to speak, and every listener who's had the faith to believe that if you did it for someone else, you could do it for them too. I pray right now, God, that you continue to anoint this podcast. Let every episode that follows carry your presence and power. Use it to reach the lost, strengthen the weak, and remind the world that you're still moving. Father, I lift up everyone listening right now, bless them in their homes, in their families, and in their faith walk. Let them feel your love and peace right where they are. As we celebrate 50 episodes today, Lord, we say thank you. But we also say we're ready for what's next because we know the best is still yet to come. In Jesus' mighty name we pray. Amen. Welcome to Living Testimony, stories of faith and redemption. I'm your host, Israel Caminero, and I hope everyone that's listening is blessed and doing well. Today I have the honor of sitting down with someone whose testimony is full of grace, redemption, and hope. That's no pun intended. But her name is Hope Pollard. Welcome to Living Testimonies, Hope. Go ahead and introduce yourself to our listeners. Tell us a little bit about who you are and where you're from.

Hope Pollard: 4:12

Well, I am born and raised in Dubas Pulva, Georgia. I'm almost 30 years old. I am very blessed with a husband and stepkids who I love dearly. I am on a worship team at church, and I also have my own cleaning business, Al Call Galaxy Edge Cleaning, and I'm just grateful to be here.

Israel Caminero: 4:34

And as always, she's here to share her testimony. Let's open this up with prayer. Father, we thank you for this moment. Thank you for bringing hope here today and for the work you've done in our life. Lord, we ask that this conversation reaches the hearts of those who feel forgotten, lost, or far from you. Let every word that's spoken today glorify your name and draw people closer to you. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

Hope Pollard: 5:00

Amen.

Israel Caminero: 5:01

So, Hope, can you share a little bit about your upbringing and what life was like for you growing up?

Hope Pollard: 5:07

Yeah, absolutely. I grew up as a Jehovah's Witness. My mom was actually a Jehovah's Witness and my dad was not. He actually was a pretty bad alcoholic. He got pretty abusive while drinking. So it was a lot of violence in my home to where it it brought in a lot of difficulties, you know, like confusion and self-esteem issues and just not knowing who I was in God. And especially growing up with a different view of God. You know, because when you're raised as a Jehovah's Witness, they don't believe the same thing as a lot of other religions do. You know, because so like me personally, I fully believe that Jesus is God and Jehovah's Witness people do not. And that's not to say anything bad about any other religions, but what is true is what is true, you know. And I just grew up not knowing what is true. So I I searched for that my entire life. Over time, I found it all in bad places, you know, because throughout my childhood I struggled with anorexia, embliemia, just getting told by a lot of people, friends and family, you know, you're just not worthy. So that plays a lot in your life when you're growing up and become an adult, you know, not knowing who you are. And so when you start finding everywhere else, it starts getting pretty bad. You start going down the path with the devil, and and that's what I end up doing. Just getting in trouble when I was a kid, getting in fights, not listening to teachers. I got to the point when I was about 14 years old, my uncle sexually assaulted me, which really just played with my mind a lot to where I really didn't know who God was anymore. You know, how could God, a loving God, have so much evil in the world? Like why couldn't he just stop it? You know, and that was my question for a long time. And so I just went down that path. And then around I think 16 I started to live with a relative who got custody of me. And luckily I did graduate high school because I really didn't think I was going to how my life was going. But I lived in poverty for my whole life, not having a lot of money. Parents did the best they could, you know, scraping by. But once I graduated high school, I actually moved in with my boyfriend at the time. We did eventually get married. We were together for actually eight years, so we were together for a while throughout my high our high school years. But we did have to get a divorce because it ended with him cheating and everything, and it broke my heart really, really bad. And so after I left him, I just went down a really bad path with the devil and completely stepped away from God completely to where I wasn't searching for God anymore. I was searching for anything and anyone else, you know, and a person, whether it's through witchcraft, drugs, alcohol, I went out partying every single weekend and just doing everything that's not of God pretty much.

Israel Caminero: 8:35

So at 14 years old, your uncle molested you, at 16 years old, you moved out and moved in with your boyfriend for eight years, which became your husband, and then you got divorced. Is that correct? And all this stuff that was happening in your life on top of growing up, Jehovah's Witness, had you questioning God because, like you said, a good God wouldn't let things happen in as as a youth growing up, that that's what was going through your head. So you started drifting away from God and then you finally walked away from your faith altogether. Is that what you said?

Hope Pollard: 9:15

Yeah, absolutely.

Israel Caminero: 9:16

And you started doing witchcraft, drugs, alcohol, all the things like that. And obviously you were trying to escape from the stuff that had happened to you. Were you trying to escape from anything else during that time that made you dwell into or how did you get introduced to all this witchcraft and and things like that?

Hope Pollard: 9:38

I did anything to run. You know, at the time I didn't feel like I was running because I didn't realize how much hurt was held inside of me. Um, so I just started seeking things to make me feel better, you know. So with drugs, you know, it made me feel that it's a work moment, you know, or getting drunk, you know, I didn't have to think of reality. And then with witchcraft, I was seeking a higher power without realizing I was seeking a higher power, you know. And like now when I look at it, you know, I realize I was seeking God. Your spirit seeks God because that's where you're from. You're from your creator. At the moment, I just started getting into crystals, you know, I started staging my house and I started getting into tarot cards and Ricky Reading and all the things that had power in them. And they do, but just not the right power. And so it really brought me down to a lot of darkness to where demons were surrounding me. I am now a seer. And so, and I've actually seen demons my whole life, but not realizing what you know what they really were until now. You know, I wake up with demons at the the foot of my bed, you know, like I'll feel the present. Sometimes I don't even have to see them, I could just feel them. You know, be laying in my bed, and it's you know, I have one like come across my bed, and like I can feel it crawling across my legs, completely going out of my room. I'll hear footsteps walking around my backboard, I would hear things, and so it was very clear that you know I was surrounded by demons, and of course at the time I was was not reliable what that really was. Like obviously I knew about ghosts and stuff, but I didn't really know what it was until I came to God and he revealed it all to me. He actually revealed Satan to me and he showed me almost like a movie edition, how Satan was playing a a part in my life, and he showed me about the territories and all the rookie reading on the crystals, and so when I when I saw that how much of a stronghold the devil had on me, I immediately went straight home, got a trash dog, and started dumping all of this stuff in, and I threw it out and I just surrendered to God and I was like, God, I don't want it, you know, like keep showing me what's in my life that I need to get rid of.

Israel Caminero: 12:08

So that's powerful. Now looking back, as far as what you said with God revealing everything to you, looking back, can you see moments when you were doing all this witchcraft and everything like that where God was still trying to reach you even when you were running from him, besides that point?

Hope Pollard: 12:27

Exactly. I've talked about this a few times with my friends over the years. When I was so hurt with you know, my uh cousin with with what he did, I now see like the things that were playing out in that relationship, and I it was clear as day, like I wasn't supposed to marry him. But since I didn't have that relationship with God, I didn't see it then. And so now I I'm able to look back and be like, Wow, God was here the whole time. God's always here. Um thinking the moment of like my childhood, you know, where there was abuse, you know, when I couldn't see that there was any help. God was still there to protect me. And I've had this uh one time this is called a good one to figure actually um right before I started my li my relationship with God, I started to listen to just like positive videos because I was seeking healing, but I didn't know exactly how to do it yet. And so God kind of just started coming into my life without me even trying. And so one day I get into a wreck, a really bad wreck, I pulled my car, and then I think it was like a week later, that's when I finally, you know, came into my room one night, and I said, God, I don't know who you are, I don't know if you're real, but I need you. Because I don't want to try anymore, I'm done. I want you know, I want to end everything right now. I'm tired of my life of being just a battle after a battle. And I'm like, if you're real, I need you to reveal yourself to me. And if you do, Lord, I will not turn around, I will completely go down your path, and I will remember everything to you. And in that moment he did, and I was like, of course for you now, and I was like, Oh my gosh, you know, like God is real, and I remember texting my friend about it and everything, and then two months later I get in a wreck again. And then three months later after that, the third time I get into another wreck. And luckily the third time I was not in my car, but it was just a constant battle one after another. But I saw God in each of those moments of him protecting me and for sending someone else to come save me out of my car. Like I looked like an angel. And forth now looking at it. It was crazy, but it wasn't as crazy because I saw I can see now where God was, where he laid his hand on me. And I'm very grateful because the last wreck I did have, or that second wreck I mean, I should not be alive right now. That engine should be in my lap, but God has a purpose.

Israel Caminero: 15:32

That's right. God definitely was watching over you. Three accidents you said, correct? Yeah. Wow, that's a lot of accidents. And it wasn't by accident that you're still here. Yeah. Yeah. God was definitely there with you, and he was just waiting for you to surrender your heart to him. Because uh, you know, you you were definitely seeking stuff and it wasn't him. You were seeking all the wrong stuff because of all the wrongdoing that happened in your life, but when you finally surrendered your heart to him, or this was actually before you surrendered your heart to him, but just the goals to show that he was there with you throughout all your hardships.

Hope Pollard: 16:16

Yeah.

Israel Caminero: 16:17

What did your deliverance process look like after the encounter with God? You said you threw everything away, and w what else happened?

Hope Pollard: 16:26

So after God revealed himself to me, I didn't start going to church immediately. It wasn't until my well, it was like after the second wreck is when I realized like, uh, okay, I need to I need to get in church, you know, I need to be a little bit more serious with God. And so I'd say probably probably five months after when he revealed himself to me, I did get baptized. And I've actually heard a lot of people say this like be careful, like when you get baptized, don't be shared if the devil starts trying to intervene on God's plan, you know, because now the devil's mad. And I was like, Yeah, I don't I don't care, I don't care about the devil, you know, but he did, and so right after I got baptized, I did not come back to church for a solid month. And I went downhill really, really, really bad. And that's actually when I ended up taking up drugs and alcohol and sex again, and I was just I don't know, I just got tied up all of a sudden with the devil again. And then right there at the end of that month, I had something really bad happen to me, you know, with taking on drugs and alcohol and everything. I ended up having almost like a fever-like symptom. It wasn't fever um or anything, but they said it was like it. But I actually went to the hostel and was there all night by myself, and then once I finally got back and held, I'm like, okay, I'm taking that fear. And so after that point, I actually did go to a deliverance ministry and they casted out multiple demons out of me. And a lot of them was about like depression and anxiety, and a lot of it was just doubt when I felt it didn't take that long, but it did take a moment for my depression and anxiety to completely go away. Because I grew up with a really, really bad depression and anxiety my whole life. Like now, yeah, I get nervous by I am now, but I'm not filled with anxiety and I'm not depressed anymore. And so I really thank God for delivering me from that. And I'm actually able to see now that a lot of the mental health issues that I were having, it wasn't just mental health issues, it was demons playing a part in my life. So now I'm actually able to see light and and everything. And that fills with darkness.

Israel Caminero: 18:54

Amen. Amen. And and you said you were going through depression and anxiety during this time.

Hope Pollard: 19:00

Yeah.

Israel Caminero: 19:01

So how did God heal you and restore the parts of you that were broken because of that?

Hope Pollard: 19:06

One of them was God really getting on me and saying you need to forgive. And some part, you know, part of it he did take away. He he actually just spiritually healed me from all of it. Where I didn't have to do anything, but then some of it he was like, You have to forgive.

Israel Caminero: 19:24

I'm sorry, did you say forgive?

Hope Pollard: 19:27

Yes, forgive.

Israel Caminero: 19:28

And I'm guessing this was your uncle and everybody else that did wrong to you.

Hope Pollard: 19:34

Yeah. In my early twenties, I also got sexually assaulted by my brother-in-law too. And that's what really the main part that I really had to forgive. But um Yeah, there's a lot of forgiveness, a lot of hurt from a lot of different people you know, had their hands in my life on. So I'm like, God, I don't know how to do this, you know. Like, that's a lot of people, like I have a full list, you know. know, like ten different people. Like it's like you have to. You don't have a choice about it. You know, if you want me to forgive you, you have to forgive others.

Israel Caminero: 20:09

That's right. Forgiveness is hard.

Hope Pollard: 20:13

It is. It's really hard.

Israel Caminero: 20:15

Especially with things that happen to you. That's that's a hard pill to swallow to forgive someone like that. The fact that you did it though and obeyed, I mean you did do it, right?

Hope Pollard: 20:26

Yeah, absolutely. Like I'm still on that forgiveness journey. Obviously some parts where I'm like okay I still need a little bit more. But yeah, for the most part I have fully forgiven and healed from a lot of places where I was hurt.

Israel Caminero: 20:42

Oh that's good. You know I mean it doesn't mean what happened was okay. It just means that you've decided not to carry the weight of it anymore. You know, letting God handle it.

Hope Pollard: 20:52

So yeah and that was my biggest thing because for a long time I wanted to seek revenge you know but God's like no I'm the only one that gives revenge out. You do not and I'm like okay. That's right. So it was a lot of eye opening that God has to do with me a lot of softening my heart because I was not I was angry.

Israel Caminero: 21:14

Oh I bet I bet your heart was bitter you know I'm sure like every time you thought about the person or even seen them I'm sure your heart was bitter. Forgiveness isn't for them you know it's for your freedom. So yeah. So what does freedom in Christ mean to you now compared to before?

Hope Pollard: 21:35

Oh that's a good one. Before it was it wasn't freedom you know I thought it was when I was like oh I'm partying I'm doing whatever I want especially after my divorce because you know growing up my parents were very strict especially my mom you know with the with the being a dribble witness so I didn't have much freedom at all growing up so after I got my divorce and I was an adult at this time I was like 23 I was just I pretty much just ran. I'm like I'm free you know and then I realized real quick coming for God I was not free at all. Party and doing all that stuff of the world is not free. It's actually the complete opposite it's just a stronghold from the devil because he makes things look pretty and fun. But now trying to make sure I know how to put this in the words because I mean with God you just sometimes can't explain. But it now I just you know like we were just talking about I'm free from depression I'm free from anxiety I don't have to deal with all these strongholds anymore and so I'm actually able to say I'm actually happy in life. That's good. I don't know just so much light a lot of light.

Israel Caminero: 22:57

It's so different when you experience God in your life than when you didn't have Christ in your life you know like I say that all the time like when someone's experiencing hardships I couldn't imagine what that person feels without having Christ in their life because it's got to be ten times harder on them you know than experiencing a hardship knowing Christ because you you don't have that person that's there to lean on that humans are humans. You know they some people live by their flesh and they'll let you down but Christ will never let you down. So that's what I mean like when someone experiences hardship like death or you know just anything um like what you were going through look look at the past that happened with you. You know you started drinking drugs witchcraft that's what happens when you don't have this foundation and have Christ in your life now just imagine if not Jehovah's Witness obviously but if you were growing up and you had that foundation of Christ things would have still been harder I'm not sugarcoating that at all because of what happened to you but it would have been a tad bit easier for you to deal with yeah so that being said Hope how is your relationship with God today? Amazing especially right now I mean God is moving so much in my life to the point where this whole year has been nothing but trials and tribulation and you just asking God you know do everything strip everything out of me I fully surrender everything to you whatever that is not of you take it away and so he has he's man just building rebuilding and shirking my character for his kingdom and so right now my relationship God stands on complete faith complete trust complete surrender complete surrender to him and he has shown me while I'm doing the he is blessing blessing me through all of the and he said a few more a little bit more patient the time is coming so can you name one thing just one thing that he's restored or done in your life that you never imagined possible trying to get my motions on your throw I would say restoring my relationship with my dad I never hesitate thought I would see him being baptized.

Hope Pollard: 25:49

Oh praise God we we don't talk on a daily basis you know like I want to but the fact that we actually have a strong relationship now I can actually call him a dad be willing to call him up and just have a simple conversation and you know not constantly fighting. If he doesn't drink as much anymore you know my relationship with my dad now is going pretty well and I'm and I'm really happy with that.

Israel Caminero: 26:19

Oh my god this is the only way possible is for of for my dad's relationship to work is that here right now so I'm glad I'm glad that you and your father have a relationship again it's it's always good to have your mother and your your father in your life regardless of what happened in the past I'm glad that God restored that for you. I can tell just by when you were talking about it filled with emotion it was a rocky situation with you know God and my dad that I almost gave up on my dad and God was like no not yet we're not done with him because God wasn't done with him well God's not done with you either you know so that being said how are you using your story your testimony to help others find that same freedom I just try to be an encourager you know people are in dark times in their life and they they just can't seem to find a way out and I can see that other people are searching also and I try to I try to come in and be you know a light in in their life that maybe other people can't be or they can't be themselves so I try to just like hey I know you don't know who God is yet but he loves you.

Hope Pollard: 27:57

He cares for you just come to him. You know like you tried everything else just like I did. You tried the drug you tried the sex you tried the alcohol you tried running for years and years and years and you're searching for something and I told them all the time I'm like what you're searching for searching for God because that spirit belongs to him you belong to God.

Israel Caminero: 28:22

So he tried everything else just try God go and try him you know really try him and when you do that promise it would change your life forever that's right some people don't realize that when I was growing up I was the same way I grew up Catholic and stopped going to church at an early age and people would try talking to me about God and stuff. And even though I kept saying I had God in my heart and I would pray every night I would still wake up and live in my flesh you know it wasn't until I got older that I surrendered to him and boy did I miss out on all those years because of living in my flesh instead of just surrendering to him at an early age.

Hope Pollard: 29:10

But that's what it is right you live and learn so a lot easier to live in your flesh because that will make it easy.

Israel Caminero: 29:19

Exactly and it's everywhere these days everywhere so I know you grew up Jehovah's Witness and not exactly in a bad household but a bad situations that were in your youth and my question is is there a particular scripture that carried you through your transformation like a life verse or a scripture that you can look at when you're having a bad day yeah so my favorite verse that gets me through today is Joshua 1 9 and I'll read it out to people just in case if they don't know it says have I not commanded you be strong and courageous do not be afraid do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go that's one thing I would say you know trying to get closer to him and even now through the process of trial and tribulation that he has me going through right now to make me the woman for his kingdom I have to make sure that I don't get destroyed in this process but to trust him. That's right because there is an enemy out there that's still seeking to destroy you.

Hope Pollard: 30:40

But that's actually what God you know spoke to me on this morning he told me uh 1 Peter 5 and he was like look you have to be armored up you know like in this time your blessing's about to come so the devil's going to talk more so be prepared.

Israel Caminero: 30:57

Amen we serve a bigger God than the devil absolutely but now we're going to my back to the past section of the podcast and what my back to the past section is if the hope of today can go back and talk to the younger hope what would you say to her and why that thing's happening like me cry um I will probably say just keep going there was a lot a lot of happiness happening a lot of it you know and there's some details you know I didn't even get to share um just because it is just so detailed and like there is just so much you know things happening in my life that I just wanted to get I wanted to be over with very suicidal and I would just like keep going because the woman that you're going to the concept than what you can even imagine it does get better. It will get better because I've God now and as I always tell people you know it's not like the younger hope might have listened back then but I just like asking that question Yeah now my younger self was a little bit stubborn as we all were yeah but Hope I just want to thank you for taking the time to share your testimony with my audience is there anything else that you would like to share as far as uh pe how people could connect with you yeah um if you want if you you can find me on Facebook or Instagram at Hope Pollard or you can even come to my cleaning page called Galaxy Edge Cleaning and just reach out to me.

Hope Pollard: 33:13

If you want to talk I'm always always open to talk to anyone because I get it not everyone has grants and people to lean on I don't mind being that person but I do want to leave off with kind of like a little bit what I said earlier. If you tried everything and you just don't know what to do next try God I promise you your life will just change tremendously just give yourself to God that's true it definitely is worth it but again thank you for sharing that and before we close can you pray for us yeah absolutely Lord thank you so much for allowing me to be on this podcast to share my testimony I ask that when this testimony gets posted that it reaches people for your glory God not our own Lord just have your way with this podcast let it be everything that you want it to be to bring people to you and I pray on every person that's listening that if you don't have a relationship with God that you come to him if you do that I pray that your your relationship is stronger and stronger with God. Learn to surrender and just learn to be in God's presence I pray peace on everyone and so much blessing your way thank you.

Israel Caminero: 34:54

Amen thank you for that prayer and hope thank you again for sharing your heart in your story today proof that God's working for the first day and it's great for life. And to all my podcast family that practice episode reminded you that no matter how far you've gone, God's love can still find you don't ever believe it's been broken for the story story. If this story lost someone else okay might be the key to someone else until next time your story