A Beautiful Purpose: Finding God's Plan in the Storm, with Nancy Kinnear

Join me for a heart-wrenching yet inspiring conversation with Nancy Kinnear, a grieving mom who shares her powerful story of losing her 30-year-old daughter Savanah to metastatic breast cancer. Nancy's journey is a testament to the transformative power of faith, hope, and love in the face of unimaginable loss.

With unflinching honesty and vulnerability, Nancy shares her experiences of navigating the darkest moments of grief, finding comfort in her faith, and discovering a new sense of purpose in sharing her story. This is a story of unconditional love, unwavering faith, and the unbreakable bond between a mother and daughter.

Through Nancy's story, you'll be reminded that even in the midst of stormy weather, God is always present, always faithful, and always working towards a beautiful purpose. Join us as we explore Nancy's journey of grief, hope, and healing, and discover how her story can inspire and uplift you.

Transcript

Israel Caminero: 0:16

Welcome to all the stories that make the red. Story of faith. Before we get started with that, I just want to pray for us in this conversation. I just want to say, Father God, we invite your Holy Spirit to be present with us as Nancy shares her testimony. May her words be a reflection of your love, mercy, and redemption. Give Nancy the courage to be vulnerable, the clarity to share her story effectively, and the confidence to trust in your presence. May her testimony be a source of hope, encouragement, and inspiration to all who listen. We pray that you would use Nancy's story to bring glory to your name, to comfort those who are struggling in the same situation, and to remind us all of your faithfulness and goodness. May Nancy feel your peace, your joy, and your love as she shares her testimony. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Nancy Kinnear: 1:49

Amen.

Israel Caminero: 1:50

So Nancy, um, if you want to get started with what you want to share, the floor is all yours.

Nancy Kinnear: 1:57

Okay. Well, my story kind of starts in May of 2018, um, is when we really got tested with our faith and and just everything in life. Um, my daughter, who was 24 years old at the time, received the devastating news that she was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, which is also known as stage four breast cancer, which was a really a shock to not just her, but our family, you know, being 24 years old. Um that's not something that's common, it's it's rare. And then to receive the devastating news that it was terminal, there was no cure for it.

Israel Caminero: 2:45

So that's kind of where it started, and um that's pretty I'm sorry, that's that's pretty early. This just happened from a routine check.

Nancy Kinnear: 2:58

Well, what happened was Savannah noticed a lump um one day, and I was living out of town, I was about four hours away from McGregor. I was living in Corpus Christi at the time, and she gave me a call and said, you know, she found this lump on the left side of her chest, and you know, we're not thinking cancer in any way, and I thought, well, you know, let's just let's keep an eye on it and and see, you know, uh what happens. Well, not even a month later, she noticed that it grew, and I thought, okay, this is a little more concerning now. So I advised her to go ahead and go to the doctor and and you know, hopefully they can figure something out fairly quickly. And and we were blessed to have a really good doctor um that she had since she was like an elementary age. So she, you know, uh looked at Savannah and she thought, well, we better go ahead and have this checked out. So she um referred her over so she could have a mammogram done.

Israel Caminero: 4:07

Correct.

Nancy Kinnear: 4:07

Even though she was 24 years old, and usually, you know, you you're 40 or older. So they went ahead and did that, and it was like a Thursday or Friday, and by Monday, they already let us know that you know we're gonna have to go ahead and and get a biopsy done because they are seeing something on the images. So again, that week it was done, and by that Monday she was told that she did have cancer. And and with that phone call, we did not have the diagnosis yet. They just knew that there was a tumor shown there, and it was showing that you know it it's gonna be cancer.

Israel Caminero: 4:51

Right.

Nancy Kinnear: 4:52

So after that, things moved fairly quickly. Uh, they did the biopsy, they came back positive for cancer. Um, first they diagnosed her that she was a stage two, and there's different stages. You got stage zero to stage four, right?

Israel Caminero: 5:09

And that's zero being not so bad and four being worse being the terminal, yes.

Nancy Kinnear: 5:17

So um her first um when she first had her um images done, it was done here in in in Waco, Texas. But we wanted to go ahead and get a second opinion because her being young, she had uh concerns about starting chemo and being 24 years old, she still wanted to have a family. Right. So her concerns were, you know, about freezing her eggs, you know, and her doctor, the oncologist at the time, didn't seem very concerned with that. He was more into trying to get her to get started, uh, have her decide whether she wanted to have a double mastectomy, you know, and kind of start the process. So she was like, Mom, I think I want to have a a second opinion. So we ended up going to MD Anderson in Houston, Texas, which which is a very large cancer hospital with very well-known uh oncologists there. And luckily she got in, and that's all again by God working, because to get into a hospital like that, it could be a six-month waiting period. And when I first called up there, they told me maybe three months, and we thought we can't wait that long. You know, they're they're telling us here that something needs to get done. Well, a friend of ours who does hair happened to be doing a lady's hair that her husband was a retired oncologist from MD Anderson, and he got us in that same week. Wow, and that was all done by you know God's hand. I mean it it was he was put in. We we did not meet this man. We have until this day I have not met him. But he got Savannah in, got her one of the best on colleges there, and he was awesome because he was able to get her eggs frozen for her. Um, all her concerns were answered. Everyone that God placed in Savannah's life during this whole time was someone that we needed, whether it was encouraging words, uh, prayer, hope. Um, I mean, God was there through through it all. Even though he was devastating, it was scary. We questioned everything. I was mad at God, you know, during that time because I couldn't understand why this was even happening.

Israel Caminero: 7:46

Oh, that's um that's totally understandable to be mad at him during this time. And before you continue, I wanted to ask one question. I want to backtrack a little bit. Um was your faith before all this?

Nancy Kinnear: 8:02

Um, my faith before, um, I mean, I knew God. Uh I grew up going to church when I was younger, but honestly, I was not, I did not have the relationship with God. And I know that now because who I am today and who I became during these past six years, I know now God in such a different way. And I thought I knew him back then, but it was kind of on and off. It's almost like I went to him when I needed something or something bad was happening. Okay, you know, I I never saw the good side of things, I never saw how God was actually there through it all. So I I didn't depend on him, you know. Gotcha. Yeah, so my life and my daughter's life, our family changed with her diagnosis. You know, there, you know, people say that um it's it's such a lonely road, you know. Grief is uh when you're going through hard times in life, and there's a saying that you know, God puts you in this place by yourself so that you can only know that that He's the one there for you. And and I really believe that's true. That's why I think this this part of grief is so lonely, because it's only God that can get you through these times. It's not the things in the world, it's not even though I've got so much support from my husband and and my daughter and and my family, it's still such a lonely part of life. And my only thing that helps me get through the day is God Himself, you know. So it has changed. There's there's actually a relationship now with my father, you know, and I saw that even with my daughter through it all. I mean, he carried her through every fear, every doubt, every question, everything, and gave us the strength to just keep going. I was asked so many times by many people, you know, how do you do this? How do you watch, you know, your daughter go through this? How do you drive back and forth four hours, you know, to this cancer center to take your daughter? We were there, you know, sometimes three, three or four times during the week, back and forth because she wanted to spend her time more at home than there. So we were back and forth. And honestly, I look back now and I look at you know, videos and pictures that we would take during that time, and I have no idea how I did it. It was it was only through God.

Israel Caminero: 10:54

That's right. God gave you the strength to do all that. And I was just asking because I I I heard you mention God a lot of times, and getting a diagnosis like that, usually, like you said, you were angry at God, and that's justifiably so. How did you manage as far as the diagnosis and and your faith, keeping your faith strong? Obviously, your daughter kept you going and and faithful because of what she was going through and the hope that you guys had, but how did the whole family dynamic change and stay faithful to the Lord or even become closer to him, like you said?

Nancy Kinnear: 11:35

It's it's uh hard to put into words when someone is told that you know you're you're terminal, you don't know how long you have in this life. There's I don't I don't know how to describe in words how that made us feel on side. So helpless for one, because we know we couldn't do anything for Savannah. And because of you know, growing up, being in the church, knowing that God could perform miracles, I was praying for a miracle for my daughter, so I was holding on to that as far as the family, just by picking up the Bible and reading the verses brought so much comfort to us. That was about the only comfort that we had during those six years. Every time that you know, she'd have a scan, and scans were mainly like every three months, those scans would come back with bad news, and like I said, it's such a lonely path. Unless you've been through something like this, you just you don't get it. So by seeking God, that was our comfort, that was our strength. That was my way as being Savannah's caregiver, that I was able to be there with my whole heart to give her what she needed here on earth, to give her the strength when she was weak, and when she was scared, I was able to read God's word to her to bring her some sort of comfort because me just as a mother, I was probably more scared than she was, and I was probably begging and asking God more than she was to heal her and heal her body, and I wanted more time with my daughter. I I grieved a life, a different life for Savannah. So, in those ways, I think it was turning to him because we had nothing else, and by receiving that comfort, we knew that that that that was our only hope. And no matter how much you know the doctors wanted to do for her and and how good they were, we knew that it was God's final word. And I always said that to Savannah. You know, no matter what the tests show, no matter what the doctor says, God's in control. It's his final words of what's gonna happen. I said, You're here and and you have a purpose.

Israel Caminero: 14:34

That's right. God's definitely in control what in situations like that, and the peace that he brings you, like you said, is it's unexplainable. I can only imagine how some people without God in their life would be going through this same situation but differently because they don't have God in their life and the hope that you had as far as your daughter. Now, speaking of your daughter, I'm sure she gave you hope throughout all this. Just sometimes the people that are going through it, right, are the strongest people that you see. And I'm sure by you seeing that in her, gave everyone hope also. I mean, can you can you share a little bit about that?

Nancy Kinnear: 15:28

Yes, she she did that for everyone, she inspired so many people. There's a story, and and it's really funny because you know, at this cancer center, it's it's huge. So you have scry bridges that connect you to different parts of the hospital. So when you when you go for a scan, you have to go to one side of the hospital, and they have different parts. For the place this day that she had to get this scan, it was a CT scan to show, you know, uh if the treatment that she was on was working, we had to cross the street over from the hospital. And in this hospital, they also have a um hotel that you can stay in.

Israel Caminero: 16:11

Okay.

Nancy Kinnear: 16:12

So we were staying at the hotel, we stayed the night, so we walked across the street, and while we were coming back after scans, we could feel some raindrops coming. And we thought, oh no. You know, in Houston they do get a lot of rain, but usually you can see like the employees walking around because they they live nearby. There's a bunch of uh apartments near there, so employees live nearby, so they would walk to work. If they had umbrellas, then you pretty much knew that it was going to be a rainy day. Well, as we looked around, we didn't see anyone with umbrellas or anything. So I think they were just as surprised as we were because I don't think it was in the forecast for them, you know, that day.

Israel Caminero: 16:56

Okay.

Nancy Kinnear: 16:57

So by the time we were reaching from one block to the next, this rain just started pouring down so hard, like you couldn't even see, you know, in front of you, like the hospital in front of us. So we're kind of like running, and there's this huge tree. So we're standing under the tree, and by this time we're already pretty much soaked wet. And we still hadn't reached the entrance to the hotel to get back into the hospital. So we're standing under this tree, and we're watching the employees walking by, and everyone's getting soaked, and so many of them were really upset and mad because they were getting all wet, and I'm looking around and watching this rainfall, and I turn around and I look at my daughter, and she's got the biggest smile on her face, and she's got her phone on and she's getting a video, and she's laughing, and she's like, Mom, isn't this beautiful? Isn't it like the most beautiful thing you've ever saw? And I stood there looking at her because you know, here she is, and by this time she was like 26 years old, and she's standing there not knowing how much time she has left on this earth, you know. She just got scans done, she was about to get chemo, and she had every reason to not enjoy the day because where we were and the reason we were there, but yet she was the only one out of all the people that I saw during this time smiling and being able to see God's masterpiece right in front of her, you know, and enjoying every minute. And I'm watching her, and I all I could do was thank God because I thought the love that you put into my daughter's heart and that peace only comes from you because I'm over here thinking, how are we gonna get you know inside the hospital? You know, we're gonna be freezing cold, thinking of all these things that are not important, along with everyone else. Like I said, because everyone else looked, you know, upset, probably thinking the same thing, like, oh my gosh, I'm all wet, and what now? And my daughter's there just enjoying the moment. That's incredible, and that's when I realized it was incredible, and just looking at her, I could see God's love through her, I could see the peace, I could see God's hand on her life, and that was the moment that changed everything for me to learn to look at this life through my daughter's eyes. So that was the day that everything opened up for me, despite everything, and through that I continued to gain that strength. And she is she's the one that that gave us that strength. And you know, that moment I knew. Because I haven't told her, I said, Savannah, I will never forget this day. And we have a picture together standing under that tree, and she's got the biggest smile on her face. Loving life. And she did that throughout the whole six. She was a person that found love in this life. She found what was important. It wasn't the house or the cars or our clothes, you know, all that material stuff. It was the love and the family and the moments that she create together at those times. And she taught that to us. And sorry.

Israel Caminero: 20:39

No, no, you're perfectly fine. It's I'm sure it's emotional to talk about it. It just makes me think, as you're sharing that story, how God just poured that rain on you guys, on you and your family to just almost like sprout your faith even more. You know what I mean? To grow it even more. Like he was raining down on you from all the seeds that were planted before and just grew your faith tremendously to where it's at now.

Nancy Kinnear: 21:10

Yeah, it was almost like a picture of our life. Even though the storm was right in front of us, we were still able to feel God there no matter what was in front of us. And that's what my daughter gave to me that day. That despite all this, all this storm in front of us, there's still beauty. God's there. And she she she she did that over and over. I mean, she was like the love of the family. Her her faith grew, her heart all the way to her last day, and and he continued from that day on. And you know, he's there from the day we're born, you know, to the day we leave the earth, but there's just moments when he just kind of shows himself more, and we've experienced so much beauty during the six years, even though you know now it's it's really hard to be greeted in this grief. But I I hold on to that, that that I always go back to that day on my hardest days, and I look at our picture because that picture just tells our story, the whole story of our whole six years. And I didn't know that at the time, you know, but I knew I knew that moment was special, and I and I even, you know, like I said, I told Savannah, I will never forget this day, and I had no idea how that day was gonna help me through this grief the way it has.

Israel Caminero: 22:50

Yeah, I I don't even have the words. I'm sure your life changed drastically after losing her, and I wanted to just ask what have been some of the most difficult adjustments for you during this time after losing her?

Nancy Kinnear: 23:08

It's it's everything. It's it's from the moment that I opened my eyes in the morning to even trying to get out of the bed to face another day, and and in those moments, I it's a reminder too, because you know, Savannah lived in a lot of pain. The cancer that she had started in her breast, went to her lymph nodes, went to her bones, went to her lungs. It it pretty much spread through her lymphatic system. She had fluorofusion in both her lungs, fluid around her heart. She spent many days in the hospital. She was a walking miracle by the end. Even her oncologist wasn't sure how she was still going. You know, she'd used her legs until she couldn't use them anymore. She refused to use a wheelchair. She used everything that God gave her until she couldn't, and she still was never angry. And by by remembering those times, and and she lay in bed, she was very active, very healthy. But the last six years, she spent a lot of time in bed in pain. And those moments, you know, I have no reason to not get up. She used every every minute of the day, and and they were precious to her because you know, God gave her another day, and she'd always say she wanted to live her life to the fullest, so she couldn't. So I have no reason, you know, to lay there and not still try to see this life beautiful. But it's hard, um, because you know, Spenna, she was my daughter, but she was also my best friend. We we were always close, but the last six years, our relationship, I mean, blossomed even more. And that was for our whole family. So she gave me a lot of strength during that time. So right now, you know, it's hard, it it's it's it's um unbearable, it's dark. So trying to get out of bed, um, even just trying to function in this world, it it feels different because a part of me is not here, right? And even though I I know and I have the belief in me that I'm gonna see her again one day, that's right, which seems like forever now, you know. 30 years went by too quick.

Israel Caminero: 25:45

That's right. You will see her again.

Nancy Kinnear: 25:47

But I would see her again, and and I I do, I hold on to that because you know, this is not the end. Her life has, you know, she she finished her time here on earth, and it was written, you know, way before. And and even when she was born, um, I almost lost her then, and and I prayed and asked God to let me be her mom, even for a little while, and he did. He he gave that to me. So I was there to hear her heartbeat, you know, for the first time and for the last time, and I try to focus on all the good, but this this grief, it it's it's hard. You never know what you're gonna feel like day by day. That's right, and that's another thing, you know, everything else is out of control, what feels like, and you're in this dark place, but but God remains the same. His his word, his promises, they're there, and and that's like the only thing you can grab onto.

Israel Caminero: 26:52

Amen.

Nancy Kinnear: 26:53

Because that doesn't change.

Israel Caminero: 26:54

That's right. Yeah. How do you deal with that as far as there is there any specifics or support system that you have or have helped you? But obviously, you said the Bible and God is the main thing, and that's that's so good. But at the same time, grief sucks, and it comes and goes when you least expect it. You know, you could be sitting there minding your business and just get smacked upside the head with it.

Nancy Kinnear: 27:24

Yes, I said it just comes like you don't know what when or how. I thought I had a okay day yesterday, and by the time I was going to lay down, which is another thing, I I can't sleep. I I constantly wake up with this grief. And as I was just about to lay my head down on the pillow, all of a sudden this grief just hit again, and I'm just like having those silent screams just of so much pain, and and it comes, and it's unpredictable.

Israel Caminero: 28:03

Exactly. So, how do you keep your daughter's memory alive? Is there any specific things that you guys do as far as um charities, activities you're involved with to honor her legacy?

Nancy Kinnear: 28:18

Um, well, she wanted her can her story to continue to be told.

Israel Caminero: 28:22

Amen.

Nancy Kinnear: 28:23

She um she did a lot of advocating for herself. She uh used her social media and told about her story and uh advocated for metastatic breast cancer as a young adult and how it affected her life. She also used her time to find a way to give back because she had so much support, you know, from family, from friends, from people that God brought into her life, strangers, you know, and so many people that were praying for her during that time. And she designed earrings, she created and designed earrings, and she donated to cancer patients and treatments, and she did that because when she lost her hair, and she lost her hair several times due to treatments, she wore the earrings and it made her feel beautiful. So she wanted other women to feel beautiful on their bad days, no matter what it was that they were going through. Oh she just had that big heart, so she did that. She walked in the New York Fashion Week as a metastatic breast cancer patient, and they raised gosh, over a hundred thousand dollars to give to research for stage four. Um, she did podcast, she published uh her story in magazines, she volunteered for nonprofit organizations. Um, she she took this life and used it. She, like I said, she brought so much beauty into this life.

Israel Caminero: 30:07

She seemed like she seemed like she was doing a lot and she did. That's great. She didn't yeah, God seemed like she didn't let the diagnosis define her.

Nancy Kinnear: 30:19

That's exactly what she always said was that she did not want to only be known by the girl that had cancer. So she wanted her her story to be continued, so that's what I'm doing. But at the same time, I'm also bringing out the grief that comes with it. Like I said, our grief started way back six years ago and continued. And even though we had the talk, you know, that you know, her day would come most likely before mine, and it didn't make it any easier. Um it it she thought in, you know, her ways of leaving us pictures and videos and and doing those little extras for us that it would help us, you know, get through our darker days. And um, and and it does. I I have so many pictures of us as a family, of her, all the stuff she did on social media. And now I'm here to tell the story from you know, the caregiver side, her her family side, her from my mom's heart of what I saw in Savannah and how she gave and how she inspired so many, and that she was more than the girl that just had cancer. Um God used her, you know, to bring so much beauty into our life, even though it was so dark through this all. And and even though she didn't she wasn't healed on this side, you know, I know that now she's you know pain-free. Um, she's happy again, and she doesn't have to go to doctor appointments, and there's no more chemo, there's no more surgeries, there's no more scary reports, there's no more all these medications. She was taking like nine to twelve pills a day just as to help her with side effects, you know. That's right, and that's a hard life for a young person, you know, and she also had to come to um an acceptance that she wouldn't be able to be a mother, you know, even though she froze her eggs. Um, she decided that it would be selfish for her to bring a child into this world um and not have a mother, you know, to be here.

Israel Caminero: 32:51

Wow.

Nancy Kinnear: 32:51

And I know that was one of her hardest decisions that she had to make because that's she wanted the title of a wife and a mom. Well, she did have the title of a wife, but she did not become a mom. And she still was not angry with God. She she wasn't.

Israel Caminero: 33:09

Sounds very thoughtful of her to even think like I don't want to keep my eggs and them not have a mother around. She seems like she was very thoughtful, and even throughout the thing she was going through, she was teaching others lessons and values about life while going through that. It's not the end, because you guys are gonna have a glorious reunion one day. And it's gonna be so great. I'm sorry you had to go through this. I mean, I'm at I'm at a loss for for words right now, and I thank you for just taking the time to even share this because I know it's gotta be hard. And how is your family dynamic now, like the rest of your family? Because I know there's Christmas coming up, and I know that's gotta be hard.

Nancy Kinnear: 34:23

She just had her birthday, it was December 1st. Oh, I'm well, she would have been 31, you know, and I didn't want to do anything for Christmas, but it was her favorite time of the year. She she was a girl who loved Christmas. I mean, she made it special for all of us. She was the one that would go all the way and decorate. And this last year we had just the traditional Christmas, and we spent it at home um cooking in our kitchen. We went at like 7 a.m., started the cooking, had all the decorations up, did the baking all together, made videos, took pictures because we just knew that her time was coming and she knew it. She she would tell us, you know, I do not have much more time, and we we could see it. She was in the hospital, and we could tell by the the doctors that you know their concerns, and um it was her time. So she did want to make it to her 30th birthday, and she did. Um, she wanted to spend a year in New York for Christmas, and we were able to do that. God, like I said, God came in to her life, and He provided so much of what would make her happy in her heart, and and it was always, you know, surrounded by family and friends. And and that was her all the way to her last day. She wanted to be surrounded by her family. So we were able to be there with her to say our our goodbye, you know, see you later. We got to love on her, and you know, when she finally made the decision to stop treatment, you could see the peace in her. You felt God's presence in her home. We were all at peace, and and she she left this world peacefully. So um, it's hard now. We did put up a small little tree for her, and I didn't put any decorations, it just has the lights, and and it's funny because we have not been able to turn the Christmas tree off because now, you know, it was hard to even try to put it up, and now that it's up, I can't turn the lights off because it feels too dark when I turn it, turn the lights off. So with it on, I just feel like you know, that's for Savannah. And that's the way we're carrying on right now. It's kind of just a day-by-day thing. I know that with this, because God's opened up doors for me to tell Savannah's story um in different ways. So I know as time goes on and through this grief, um, I'm just gonna wait on God to see what else He wants me to do. So it's kind of a day by day, like I said, because some days I I I can't do much, and then some days I get a little more strength. And but speaking about her, telling her story, saying her name, um, even though it hurts, you know, it's that bittersweet moment because it hurts because you know I I want to spend my day with with my daughter. I I still want to share things with her. I want to make memories. Um, and that's not happening, so um I'm just waiting to see what else God has in store. And it's his um he's he's he's got it all, yeah, because I I don't I personally don't have the strength. And this is challenging, but at the same time it feels right, and I always ask God, you know, what what are you doing? You know, why are you doing this?

Israel Caminero: 38:18

I don't know. Sometimes it's good to take a break and not do anything and just grieve, yes, and I I I have that too.

Nancy Kinnear: 38:30

I honestly had a I had a few people um reach out and I said, you know, I'm not doing any more. I'm finishing up, you know, this by the end, I'm not doing any more after the two weeks. And then I'm just gonna wait till next year. I've got two that I committed to a while back, but I I'm just kind of waiting because I don't know what he wants me to do.

Israel Caminero: 38:58

And he'll reveal it to you in his timing. There it's always his timing, not ours. So even when you ask, like, God, what do you want me to do when you're praying? Yeah, he'll reveal it in his timing. I just want to say thank you for just taking the courage to just share your story and to keep your daughter's legacy alive by sharing her story and what she's gone through and your family's gone through. And it's a good thing that you're doing that, you know, because sometimes when things like this happen and people pass away, it's like you know, sometimes people forget them. And it's a good thing that you're keeping her name alive the way you are, by sharing the good things that she's done, what she's gone through, and the hope that all of you guys stayed with, regardless of the Situation. So I want to just thank you for that.

Nancy Kinnear: 40:06

Thank you for having me and letting me be the voice for my daughter and expressing this grief. Um you know, you read a lot of things out there about grief, but you don't hear a lot about it in the early stages, and I feel like that's why God has led me this way also, because when you're early in grief you forget some of this later on. And I needed to hear some of this stuff. I I looked into resources too, and I went to support groups and it just was a little bit beyond where I was still. And just like Savannah did when she was diagnosed at such an early age, she she didn't find a whole lot, so she decided to advocate for herself and bring it out. And I feel like that's where I'm at is to bring out this grief and you know, to say it's okay to not be okay, it's okay to question just to know that that God is there. Even if we don't feel him, even if we don't see it happening at the time he's there. Do it all.

Israel Caminero: 41:14

That's right. And um You said it perfectly just now. You said it's okay to not be okay. You said that perfectly.

Nancy Kinnear: 41:26

Those are wise words for my daughter. She always would say that.

Israel Caminero: 41:30

Really?

Nancy Kinnear: 41:32

Yes. She'd always say it's okay to not be okay, mom.

Israel Caminero: 41:37

Well, kudos to your daughter Savannah for her positive outlook while she was going through all of this. And before we close, I usually ask my guests two questions. One of them, the second one I might change around because it might not apply to you. Um, I'll still try it, but if it doesn't apply, then we'll go with something else. But my first question is were there any specific Bible verses or prayers that brought you comfort during this time that you could always go to that same Bible verse and read again? I I usually say like a life verse that stuck with you throughout life, but I'm gonna change it for you. Was there a Bible verse that you guys always relied on during this time?

Nancy Kinnear: 42:33

Yeah, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Israel Caminero: 42:38

Okay, can you can you elaborate well we all know the verse? We just want to know, we just wanna know what that verse meant to you and why.

Nancy Kinnear: 42:53

As a mom and watching my daughter go through a terminal disease and not being able to do a thing for her. I I was helpless through the whole thing. I beat myself up because I couldn't do anything. But I always knew that God could. And it was always in his hands whether he was going to perform that miracle or not. But in the meantime, I knew that he would fulfill every need that Savannah had, every fear he was gonna give her the peace, and he would bring in those those happy, joyful moments for her when she needed it. And that was my strength. So by reading that, I always knew that I was not alone in this, and that she wasn't alone, and that you know, he would continue to give us the strength that we needed when we needed it.

Israel Caminero: 43:46

That's that's good. A lot of people misinterpret that verse, and you did not. Thank you for that. Now, my second question, it's a section that I have in the podcast, and I call it my back to the past section. But I don't know if it's gonna apply to you, so I'm gonna change it this time, and I'm just gonna ask you, is there any final message of words of encouragement, you know, that you would like to share with our listeners who may be going through a similar experience?

Nancy Kinnear: 44:28

Yes, I would say to just hold on to hope. Um, like we did. Um the people that he put into your life, they're there for a reason and and share the love. Say that I love you, um hug each other, appreciate one another. You know, time is short. Thirty years went by too fast. So that love that that God gives us and the forgiveness. I think it's so important to live in those ways. Love the people around you. Forgive. I think it's so important not to carry that in your heart. And like I said, just to continue hanging on to hope no matter what you're going through in life. And it's going to be okay. Even if you're not feeling okay, you will be okay. And I know one day I will be. Um I just don't know when, but one day. But I have the hope. I I'm also hanging on to hope.

Israel Caminero: 45:43

That's right. You gotta hang on to hope. If you lose hope, you lose everything.

Nancy Kinnear: 45:49

Yes.

Israel Caminero: 45:51

Well, I would definitely keep you and your family in my prayers. It's a tough thing to go through for anybody, and especially a mother. And hopefully all the listeners will keep you in their prayers also. Nancy Kinnear lost her daughter Savannah to breast cancer. It's not easy. I wouldn't want anyone to go through this, but unfortunately, some people have gone through it like you, and it's not a good thing to go through. But like you said, God sustained you throughout all this and is still sustaining you whether you're grieving or not. You're just going through a tough time right now. But you will get over it, and you will keep your daughter's name and legacy alive like you have been, even twice as strong as you are now. So once again, I want to thank you. And before we close this podcast, Nancy, do you think you could pray us out?

Nancy Kinnear: 46:57

Oh my gosh, I don't know. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for this time that you gave me with Israel. And I pray that the words will reach others that are in need to hear to hear your word and your love. And I pray for this time for blessing me and my family. Thank you for this time to be able to share this story and your love. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for thank you for letting me share your love that you have blessed us with in our darkness. And I thank you for continuing to be there with me through my grief. I pray that those that need to hear these words, they'll be comforted in knowing that you are always there and that your word never changes. Amen.

Israel Caminero: 47:57

Amen. Thank you for that prayer. I know it's I know it was hard to pray and probably have all these emotions running through you right now. And I I just want to say thanks again because it's not easy to just talk about the things you just did, but you know what? You did just to honor your daughter, and that's good, and to glorify God at the same time for how He kept you guys faithful and hopeful throughout this journey. Once again, Nancy, I want to thank you. I want to thank all the listeners that tune in all the time to listen to these testimonies. Again, you might be going through the same thing, and that's why I have this podcast that God led me to start. Because a lot of people go through the same things in life. And everyone deals with them differently, and might need to hear stories like this to keep their faith and their home alive. So, thank you for tuning in. Thank you for the love you've shared. If you ever want to share your life, we share that.