The Wounds She Tried to Hide... and the Grace That Healed Them, with Kristy Santiago Perez

In this powerful episode, Kristy Santiago Perez owner of Sonshine Essentials shares her inspiring story of redemption and resilience. With unflinching honesty, she recounts her experiences of trauma and struggle, but also reveals how her unwavering faith has helped her rise above the pain. Listen as Kristy testifies to the transformative power of faith and offers hope to those navigating their own dark times. Be inspired by her triumphant journey and discover the redeeming love of faith. 

Sonshine Essentials Website

Transcript

Israel Caminero: 0:17

Welcome to Living Testimony, stories of faith and redemption. I'm your host, Israel Caminero. I hope everyone that is listening is doing well. With me today, I have a friend of mine. Her name is Christy Santiago Perez, and she's the owner of Sunshine Essentials, which is an up-and-coming clean living company. And it's all natural and organic ingredients, never any toxic ingredients in any of her products. I met her at my church. She came and gave her testimony. And I wanted her to be on my podcast to share her testimony because she has a powerful one. Christy, could you introduce yourself to everyone that's listening in?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 0:56

I am Christy, Santiago Perez, and I am a follower of Jesus. I'm a mother, I'm a wife, and um just trying to follow wherever the Lord leads.

Israel Caminero: 1:10

Amen. Amen. It's been a hard time to get Christy in here for this testimony. Um, we've had our issues time-wise, recording-wise, and spiritual-wise, actually. But she's finally here, and we're about to share her testimony. But before we get started with that, I'd like to say a prayer. And I just want to say, Father God, I thank you for every second that we're here on this earth, because tomorrow it's not promised, Lord. I want to thank you for finally having Christy be here to share her testimony with everyone. And for whoever's listening, that it might touch them and that it might lead them to Christ, Lord. Just the simple things that plant seeds in people's heads, Lord. I also want to thank you for this opportunity and this platform that you've given us to just let people hear these testimonies, to let them know they're not alone, Lord, to let them know that there's other people that have encountered problems in their lives and that you've been there to take them out of it, Lord. So I just want to thank you for everything that you do, Lord. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. So, like I said, I met Christy. She came to my church and she shared her testimony. She actually sang that day, too. She uh has a beautiful voice, and maybe towards the end or whenever she feels fit, even if she wants to, it's not necessary. She can hit a note or two. Christy, can you let everyone know your childhood and everything like that before you came to know Christ?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 2:48

Sure. So I um I was not raised in a Christian home, but we attended church kind of periodically in life. Uh, we would go for a while, then not go, and kind of just a cycle of that. And um I do recall um being about seven years old when I gave my heart to the Lord. And I was just kind of in my driveway outside by myself. And uh I don't even I don't know where it came from. I mean, I all I can say is it came from the Lord, you know. And I just remember looking up at this tree and and grabbing for a branch or a leaf or whatever it was and just saying, like, Lord, I want you to come into my heart. And, you know, it kind of just started it. Um I had uh kind of a rough childhood. I don't remember a lot of it. So probably around the age of seven, which is the same time that I remember giving my heart to the Lord, um, I I shouldn't say I began, but it's the first time I remember um being sexually abused by my father who um had some struggles. He was an alcoholic and um, you know, was unfaithful to my mom quite a bit. And so um through that, I I I kept that until about the age of 13 when I finally um spoke out and and told my mom what was going on, and um yeah, it just kind of blew up from there.

Israel Caminero: 4:26

So this was happening, it started at the age seven and it happened up to the age 13? Right. Okay. Wow. And obviously, you know, when things like that happened as a youth, you're just so scared that you don't say anything about it because you feel shame and you don't want to shame your father or anything like that, you know, to get him in trouble, and that's probably why you kept it inside and wasn't saying anything because you didn't know any better.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 4:54

Right, yeah. It and it wasn't something that was regularly talked about. I mean, I I do remember my alma always being like, you know, you know, you never let anybody do this, or never let any, but you never think it's gonna come from within your own family. So you're just kind of like, I don't really know what to do with that.

Israel Caminero: 5:12

Right, right. And that's like you said, that's probably the worst because you said your mom's saying, Don't let someone do it, but when your father's doing it, you're like, okay, you know, what am I supposed to do?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 5:24

Exactly. Yeah. So um that I think in a lot of ways kept me reserved from relationships growing up, like young adult, you know, my girlfriends at the age of 12 and 13 were having multiple boyfriends and multiple partners, and um sitting back, like, yeah, I'm not interested in any of that. So um, you know, in in one sense it kind of kept me reserved, and um, but in a lot of not good ways as well, you know. Um but then over the years, um we had a lot of family issues, and but I do remember like shortly after that, my father um like just fully giving his heart to the Lord and being a completely changed person, and it was like a beautiful thing to see, but right it was still very hard to um erase mentally and emotionally everything that had happened before that time, you know.

Israel Caminero: 6:27

So So you hadn't forgiven him when when he gave his heart to Christ at that point. Were you was that wasn't right after 13, was it?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 6:35

Um I was I I think I was 14. Like so he probably did that right away. That led to, you know, his getting in trouble and you know, come all this coming out led to him just like being saved, giving his heart to Christ. Exactly, yeah. And he tried forcing church on us, you know, like let's go to this church, and I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn't want to have to change anything. And um I mean, you know, it it we went from like having all freedom and not, you know, very many boundaries to the very strict, um, you know, Pentecostal that was very hard.

Israel Caminero: 7:14

Long sleeve shirts, turtlenecks. No, I'm kidding. Pretty much. So you said when your mom found out, how was their relationship after that? Did they stay together? Was it Rocky? Did they have to fix, you know, a lot of things?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 7:27

Yeah, it took a lot of work. And I'm pretty sure that my mom, maybe I shouldn't speak for her. I'm pretty sure she probably didn't want to reconcile the marriage. Um, at the time, the church that he was going to and the church that we started going to kind of collabed and helping us, you know, mend these things and whatever. And um, I feel like a lot of it was like superficial mending, you know, it wasn't real deep um healing or anything like that, but they did end up uh working it out. And um shortly after that, about five years later, uh my father ended up uh being diagnosed with colon cancer. And um it was a very quick, very quick thing for him. I mean, he passed within four months of his diagnosis. And I'm sorry to hear that. But it was rough, it was kind of bittersweet. And you know, part of me was sad because he was my father, and then you know, like I said, like the other part of me was almost relieved, like a huge burden was gone because it was hard to like not always have those right in your face, even seeing how changed he was and how different of a person he was, it was very hard to look at him sometimes and not remember all of the stuff that he did, right?

Israel Caminero: 8:50

Right. So you said that this was kind of hard on you as a youth as far as relationships being reserved. Once he passed, did you forgive him then?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 9:00

Or um I thought that I did, and I probably did in most areas, but you know, sometimes we have these little triggers that you know remind us of things. And um I had found myself many times um, you know, when I would speak about him, I kind of had like this negative attitude or this hard heart towards, you know, the memories, and even if they were good memories, you know, just and um once I truly gave my heart to the Lord, which was many years later, um, like the Lord really convicted me of that. And um just was kind of like, you know, if he was forgiven and he was cleansed and he was changed and he was found, you know, pure in the eyes of the Lord, like I had no place, no matter what he put me through, to to keep putting that on him.

Israel Caminero: 9:49

Right, right. You mentioned relationships, you know, that it had an effect with your relationships growing up. So how did it how did it affect your relationship as far as when you met guys and them wanting to talk to you and you wanting nothing to do with them?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 10:06

It was difficult for a while. I had a very um, I don't want to use the word like liberal mentality, you know, but I guess that's what it would be because you know, you or I should say I went through this phase where it was like I don't need a man, I can do this on my own. You know, my dad taught me how to work on cars, I know how to do this, I can do all these things. Um and you know, I just wanted him around for the fun times, right? To, you know, keep all the emotional stuff to the side. And um, you know, but it ended up um I met my first husband in church and I really didn't have any experience as far as relationships go because I wouldn't let anybody get close enough to me to, you know, to have a real relationship. So um I started off really well and it went downhill very quickly. Um I did not know I mean I knew he had a drug passed. I did not know that he had relapsed before we got married, and so um our marriage declined very quickly after shortly getting married. Um I got pregnant right away with my first daughter, and um it was a very it was a very toxic first marriage. Okay, not healthy.

Israel Caminero: 11:31

How long were you married?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 11:33

I was married for 13 years. Um a lot of on and off back and forth, me moving out, kicking him out, you know, right um yeah just complicated, very, very complicated, very dysfunctional.

Israel Caminero: 11:47

Right, right. 13 years moving in and out, like you said. You you had mentioned that he had a drug problem and he relapsed. He was keeping that a secret from you?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 12:01

You didn't know about that, or I didn't know about it for a good long time. And I had people in my life telling me, like, it sounds like he's using, it sounds like he's using. And um, to be honest with you, I really thought he was just out being unfaithful. Not that that is, you know, anything better, but I really didn't know what to look for. I didn't know anything like that. Um, you know, he'd go to work on a Friday and come home on a Sunday evening, and um, you know, and then chaos would break loose in the home. And um, yeah, it wasn't until probably over a year, almost two years into the marriage, that I finally got him to even admit that that's what he was doing. And um he had been in and out of rehab, in and out of jail many times. And um yeah, I had finally had enough of it. I had enough of my children going through that and um all the stuff they shouldn't see and shouldn't hear, and you know, and I wasn't a perfect wife, you know. You you get resentful, you get vindictive when when you've been wronged, and you know, so I had my fair share of doing not very great things.

Israel Caminero: 13:16

So I just want to touch on something. You had met this guy, he relapsed, and you said you were with him for 13 years and it was toxic, like you mentioned. You must have cared for him in order to be with him for that long. That's right. You know, and and you had mentioned you had a hard time with guys because of what happened to you in the past, but obviously you cared about this guy because you stayed with him that long, even though he was putting you through what he was putting you through.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 13:45

It was a lot of mixed emotions. I mean, obviously, for me to give my heart to somebody was huge. Um so yeah, I mean, I absolutely did love him. It was hard to separate the fact that he was struggling with something and at the same time he was hurting me. And you know, I and a lot of times I couldn't see past my own hurt what he was doing to me. And then to be honest with you, the other part was the fact that I knew that if we got divorced, my kids were gonna have to go to him every other weekend, and I would have no idea what was going on. So I chose to stay there to protect my kids from having to be alone with him. And then, of course, you know, the thoughts come into your mind of what you went through as a child. Like, could this happen with my children and home with them? And yeah, it was it was mental torture.

Israel Caminero: 14:37

Gotcha. And you said you met him at church. Were you still going to church at that point in time? Did you stop?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 14:44

So the church that we were going to try their best to help us through our marital issues. And after probably, probably before our marriage finalized, I had stopped going to church. I had just I had pretty much given up on everything. I going to church was exhausting. Explaining to people what I was going through was exhausting. And honestly, when the whole church knows your situation, like sometimes just showing face was just embarrassing. Right. I wanted to sit in the back of the church and sneak out before it finished so I didn't have to talk to anybody and you know, things like that. And so I definitely, you know, fell away from the Lord at that time. And I didn't even have the strongest relationship with God then. I just was trying to. I was trying to show up every Sunday and gotcha.

Israel Caminero: 15:37

And and I understand what you said. The church, a lot of them genuinely care, but some of them just want to be nosy, you know, and and that's why you probably felt the way you did at some point. Because some people genuinely care and some people just want to know. So so what happened after after the 13 years and you left them? What happened after that?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 16:00

So I had um I had left my husband and we were living separately, and um during that time, like a couple months after that time, I had started seeing um my son's father, who I had met years previous and hadn't talked to since then, but um, he ended up popping back into my life, and I really tried to keep him at a distance because I was not interested in having a relationship. I I wasn't interested in anything that had to do anything with a man, to be honest with you. And you know, we started seeing each other, and I ended up getting pregnant with my son just like three or four months into the relationship, and I was so afraid of being hurt again that I actually I tried leaving him like as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I was like, Oh wow, you don't have to be with me, like we don't have to do this, and he's like, What are you talking about? Like you're just being crazy right now. But I was so still so emotionally damaged from my marriage that I hadn't healed from and everything like that. Looking back on life now, I realize a lot of times in my life where I literally self-sabotaged or I sabotaged the relationship or my partner because of my own emotional insecurities and everything like that. So he actually ended up taking me to a church uh while I was pregnant with my son. And it was very hard for me to sit there and listen to the sermons because the conviction was just so strong. And I was like, what am I doing here? I'm sitting in church next to a man I'm not married to, having a baby with somebody I'm I'm not married to. I'm my divorce wasn't even finalized at that point. Like, okay, how do I even have the audacity to sit in this seat? And you know, I have nothing to give God. Nothing. I have nothing left. So it was it was a short-lived church time there. Shortly after my son was born, actually, just about three months after my son was born, I ended up leaving that relationship as well.

Israel Caminero: 18:14

Gotcha. You know what I just noticed while you were telling your story? Seven years old, you mentioned the tree talking to God. Your dad took you to a church. Your previous boyfriend took you to church, and then this boyfriend took you to church. Right. Here's these men that obviously weren't doing good, but they're taking you to church. Right. And then you were sitting there and you felt convicted uh the last time because of what you mentioned, being pregnant and your divorce not being finalized. Right. Isn't that crazy?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 18:53

That is pretty crazy. I definitely played a big part.

Israel Caminero: 18:58

So you felt convicted and you stopped going to church. How did that relationship end?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 19:04

So um I had realized that uh my son's father at the time had actually started using again as well. And um it wasn't anything I shouldn't say, you know, it wasn't anything major, but it wasn't the hard stuff. But I had zero tolerance for drugs in my life. I mean, I watched it destroy, you know, my parents, I watched it destroy my first marriage, I watched it destroy my brother for a period of time, and there was no way I was about to go through that again. So I left the relationship and I packed up me and my kids and I moved out. You know, we stayed connected, obviously, because it's my son's father. Right. And unfortunately, I watched him decline very, very rapidly and very hard. But I just knew at that point that for my own mental state and for the protection of my children, I needed to remove myself from the Situation. And so I actually did not start going back to church until my son was almost a year old.

Israel Caminero: 20:07

And you mentioned he was declining. Is that because he was doing drugs?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 20:10

It was because of the drugs, yeah. The people he was getting involved with and the relationships he was in, and yeah.

Israel Caminero: 20:16

Okay. So it started off as like you said, small drugs led to big drugs. Yes. It's always the gateway, right?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 20:23

Always is.

Israel Caminero: 20:24

Wow.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 20:25

Give him that foothold.

Israel Caminero: 20:26

And you have two daughters and a son, correct?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 20:29

I do. I have um my oldest is going to be 22, and I have a daughter that's going to be 16, and then my son is 10. Okay. And my daughters are from my first marriage, and then my son from the relationship after that.

Israel Caminero: 20:45

Gotcha. All right. So you ended up moving out? Yes. Leaving them because of the decline. So what happened in your life then? You stopped going to church, you said. Right. So what happened in that time?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 20:59

Um, during that time, I actually started going out myself. And it was a very infrequent thing, but it was okay, well, if he's gonna go out and have a good time, I can go out and have a good time. And you know, you we we have this mentality, like at least I know my limits and I know how far to go and what I can do. And I'm the responsible, irresponsible one. You know, all the lies that we tell ourselves.

Israel Caminero: 21:25

Right.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 21:26

And so I began going out during that time and just found myself in a really, really, really dark place. And I had started going to church, started going back to church shortly before my son turned one just to kind of like give myself something to do. I needed something to do with my time, and so I would, you know, I would go out on Friday night or I would go out on Saturday night, and then you know, Sunday morning and I would go to church. And I knew that like the Lord was calling me, I could feel it, but I wasn't in a place to completely surrender at that time, and so you know, I was kind of just riding the fence and you know, letting the devil, you know, have his way in my life. And um, so I met some really great ladies at this church, and I began just opening up a little bit, which was something very hard for me to do. I, you know, I don't like to share my business, I don't want to talk about things, I don't like to be emotional, I don't like love songs, I don't like romantic movies, you know, all the garbage. So um I started speaking to these ladies a little bit and kind of forming a bond with them. Uh, you know, that's great. Yeah, it was exactly what I needed. Um, and so I had started praying and I had these prayers. And, you know, I just really began praying for my son's father. I was concerned for his life, I was concerned for his soul, regardless of our relationship status, you know. And so I had these very specific prayers that I had set out, and I would start to see like things happening, and I'm like, wow, thank you, God, like thank you for answering this prayer, and until I would see like four steps forward and then 10 steps back, and so it was very emotionally like draining for me. And then right after my son turned one, I was just like so disappointed with God and so just emotionally overwhelmed. And um I just kind of I just kind of had a free-for-all. I started becoming like everything that I never thought I could become, and going out, doing things, not doing drugs, thankfully, although I did have an encounter one time where the Lord definitely had mercy on my life because I was out with a good friend of mine and actually ran into some of my son's father's friends. Um, and it was just a quick hello, hey, this, that, and the other. But the emotions that it brought up was like very difficult and devastating. And so um, you know, he's standing over there by the wall, smoking a black and mild, and I'm like, let me let me have a head of that. And you know, so I take a hit and and um I start to walk away, and within minutes, I am like spinning and about to hit the ground. And thankfully, there was um a guy there who was with my girlfriend and I, and he just kind of picked me up, put me in the back of my girlfriend's car, and I would pass out, and then I would wake up and be hysterical and freaking out, and then pass out, and it just kind of went through this thing, and um so it wasn't just a black of miles, it wasn't just a black of miles, and I had no idea that it was actually laced with synthetic heroin. Oh wow, and um the next morning my girlfriend was kind of like telling me what was going on, and I'm like, I remember all of that. I I remember it. And she was like, I didn't know if I should take you to the hospital, I didn't know what to do with you, I just decided to let you sleep and I watched you all night, and I know that was the grace of God because that could have ended so much worse than that.

Israel Caminero: 25:17

Um exactly, you could have got addicted, liked it, you know, things like that. Right. So definitely God.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 25:25

So um shortly after that, I was kind of like meeting people and and just trying to forget the pain, trying to get over him, trying to all of these things. I had found myself in a situation where you know, this guy ended up leaving my home early in the morning, and I just laid in bed crying. Like, I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know who I am. How did I get here? What is this? Like, this is not who I am. And um, like I shared my testimony at FMU, like it was in that moment that I felt the embrace of God and just I felt like it was being held like a little baby, you know. I just I just sobbed, I just cried, and I just I was like, if you can take this pain from me, I will never turn back. You know, I will I don't want to be this person, I don't want to live like this, I don't want my children to live like this, I don't want them to be this person, and um so that began my journey of um just truly serving the Lord and seeking the Lord and um you know the healing, the healing started there, right? It didn't it didn't happen there, but it started there, right?

Israel Caminero: 26:43

Right, and of course it doesn't happen overnight, but right that was the breakthrough.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 26:47

Absolutely.

Israel Caminero: 26:48

Wow. So what happened after that? You know, after that night, as far as you know, God coming into your life and you feeling him, because I know what you're talking about happened to me. Yeah, and I'm sure it's happened to other listeners and people that have been on this podcast. Right. We always have that encounter that changes us, yeah. So what happened after that night?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 27:09

So I remember um I just I was just like awestruck, like I was just blown away by the love of God. And um I think I remember telling you, like, I had a woman in my life who I had met in my first church when I was married the first time, and she would constantly tell me, like, Christy, the Lord loves you, like Jesus loves you so much, like He just has you know all this stuff for you, and He He just wants to love on you. And and I began to get annoyed by it because I all I could ever see was all of the garbage that I was going through, and I never felt the love. I just you know, I felt all of the pain. And so I remember calling her and just being like, I need to tell you something. This is not a pretty story, but I just need to tell you what happened. And and I just told her, I'm like, this is the first time in my life that I knew that I knew that I knew that I knew the love of the Lord. You know, I began going to church, I began seeking the Lord, I just started asking him, like, what is it in my life that I need to let go of? What do I need to stop holding on to? Am I going the wrong direction? Just lead me. I don't know. Just tell me what I need to do so I can do it. And um, I began praying for both of my children's fathers at that point, you know. And I actually have a great relationship with my ex-husband now. We co-parent great, and um, he's been clean for over 10 years now. He's doing great. I began praying real hard for my son's father and just, you know, seeing God work in different things in his life over the years, the ups and downs and everything like that, just not wavering in my faith and just continuing to believe, you know, that the Lord has a plan and his ways our ways.

Israel Caminero: 29:06

He always has a plan, and it's his timing, not ours.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 29:09

Absolutely.

Israel Caminero: 29:10

You weren't radically changed at that point in time, were you? Were you just were you radically changed where you gave everything up?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 29:18

I was radically changed in the sense that I was ready to let everything go. Okay. Um, you know, I mean, I had a I had a pretty foul mouth. That was I think that was probably the hardest thing for me was not having my slip-ups of you know, dropping some words here and there. Um, but I knew what I wanted, and I knew that the Lord was the only one who could give it to me. Exactly. So, you know, you stop looking in the things around you, you stop looking for the answers in the ways of the world because I had did all that, I tried all that, and none of that was working. So, you know, I was I was ready. I was all in.

Israel Caminero: 29:58

Now, what about as far as your relationships with your friends and things like that? Did that all change?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 30:03

Oh, for sure, for sure. I mean, and honestly, it was probably a good thing. I kept a lot of people in my life for a long time. I I truly believe that them seeing me change, they needed to see that. You know what I mean? They needed to see that I was real, that that this wasn't, you know, some fad. It wasn't um, it wasn't a crutch, you know what I mean? It allowed me to help them in a lot of areas, you know, areas before where they would kind of shut God off. All of a sudden I'd get 3 a.m. calls or texts, and it would be like, hey, like I'm going through this. And the Lord allowed me to just use that time to pray for them and be with them. And then, you know, over a period of time, either people started falling off or I had to start cutting people out because you only have so much that you can give. Exactly. And the Lord doesn't call us to be a giver to everybody, so he has things he needs to do in us, and then he has people in our lives and in our paths that he knows that we are gonna be part of their survival or help or healing or whatever that is, and but you know, sometimes you gotta cut those dead branches off.

Israel Caminero: 31:17

Right, exactly. Like you just said, certain people that come into your life for certain things in a certain amount of time, and yeah, you know that's it. Absolutely and then it's time to not cut them off or anything, but eventually they fall off you know, themselves because they see change in you, and unfortunately, some people don't want to change. Yeah, you know, they want to stay the same, yeah, which is sad. You know, I still have friends to this date that are still living the same lifestyle, and I see them, and I'm just like, doesn't it get old? But not in their eyes for some reason.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 31:53

I think sometimes it's easier to stay the same than it is to change.

Israel Caminero: 31:58

Right.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 31:58

You gotta pick your hard.

Israel Caminero: 32:00

You know, I I was like that too. I mean, I would say like this is me for the rest of my life. Right. I'm not changing. Now look at me. It's like it's just crazy how God works in your life. Yeah. You had mentioned at one point that you uh took a trip. And could you touch base on that? You know, and why did you take this trip? True. Was it to Montana?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 32:24

It was to Montana, yeah. So I had felt for quite a few years that the Lord was going to be moving me there. You know, I didn't know what it was gonna look like or anything like that. I just I had this tug in my heart and and different things kept popping up, and and it would all go back to like the Lord bringing us to Montana. It didn't happen right away. It actually probably took about three years before it actually came to pass. And it didn't look anything, anything, anything like I thought it was gonna look like, even when I said, Okay, Lord, I'm ready. Like, yes, I know this is the right time, let's do this. It became a place of healing for me. You know, I I left behind people that I loved. I sold everything I had. I moved in with my brother and sister-in-law and nephew, and just my younger two children. My oldest daughter stayed here. Okay. That was, you know, really hard to deal with. But we were there for about four, four or five months. During that time, I just I mean, I just was on my face before the Lord, like, I don't know what your plan is, I don't know what you have for us, you know. Please bring my daughter here, please, you know, all these prayers, all these things, you know. And um, and I had left behind someone that I was talking to, and I just felt like I had to cut that off. I needed to just focus on my relationship with the Lord. Um at one point, you know, my son's father was talking about coming out, he wanted our family to be together and all of these things, and and I'm like, God, I don't want to do anything that you don't want me to do. So I need you to show me what I'm supposed to do. Like, and I just um I began praying and fasting and just reading the word and you know, just asking him, like, what are the places of my life that still need healing or that I haven't completely surrendered to you? Or what are the prayers that I'm praying that are not aligning with your path for my life? Like I don't, I mean, I I I just I wanted nothing that had nothing to do with the Lord. During that time, you know, the the Lord began working in my heart and showing me all these things and ended up moving us back to Ohio, which I I kind of fought the Lord on. I didn't want to, I didn't want to come back to Ohio. I wanted to be with my daughter and and my grandbaby, but I didn't want to come back to Ohio. But like through it all, he just he just showed how sovereign his hand is. Like if we are just willing to let it go, he will direct every step. We don't have to see the whole plan. We don't have to know what's coming next. We just have to trust that he has the path set out before us. So um, yeah, I ended up coming back here, um, reconnecting with the guy that I was speaking to before I left. Um, we ended up getting married shortly after that.

Israel Caminero: 35:28

And you're still married to him now. Still married to him. Don't forget about that. I met him. He's a good guy.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 35:35

He's a good guy.

Israel Caminero: 35:36

That's good. So you said the Lord put it in your heart to move Montana, right?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 35:41

Right.

Israel Caminero: 35:41

Did you reveal what you went there for, besides, you know, you seeking him more and things like that?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 35:47

Yeah. So, like I said, I really thought that we were gonna go over there, start a new life. I was gonna meet my husband there, whatever, whatever plans we come up with in our head and how we see things. And it was nothing like that. It actually, it was a time of breaking, to be honest with you. Like the Lord had to break me.

Israel Caminero: 36:07

Gotcha.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 36:08

And he knew that if I stayed where I was at, physical location, that there were a lot of things mentally and emotionally and spiritually that were gonna stay the same for me. And so, you know, sometimes he has to take us out of our comfort zone and bring us to different places and just strip us down of of everything, even the even the good stuff that we've learned, right? You know, even the things that we were taught about him that we think is right until he reveals to you, like, well, this is what I really meant, you know, through this. And so it was a time of deep breaking, realizing a lot of people I needed to forgive, the forgiveness I needed to have for myself, and just allowing him to put the pieces back together because you know, sometimes we we get shattered, so to speak, you know, and we want to collect all the pieces and put all the pieces back together so that it fits perfectly. And he's like, I don't want all of these pieces back together. Right, these are the pieces that I have for you. I did not stay there.

Israel Caminero: 37:22

No, right, you already hit on that.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 37:24

Yeah, you came back there. It was actually my ex-husband that moved us back. So your ex-husband. Yeah, okay. I had just I remember telling the Lord, like, okay, God, if this is really what you have for us, if you have for us to, you know, come back to Ohio, um, you gotta work it all out. You know, I I don't have the money to move back and forth. I don't, I don't even have a place to live when we get there, all of these things. And about two days later, my ex-husband called to speak with our daughter and was just saying, you know, how much he missed her and all of these things, and you know, just made a comment to me like, if you guys ever decide you want to come back, I will pay for it. I will fly there, I will drive the truck back, I will pay for the whole trip. Just let me know. And I prayed on it for a few days, and I'm like, okay, Lord, like, was that you? Because nobody else just popped up, you know, offering to do this, and you know, and I hadn't spoken to anybody about this. And um I just had a complete peace in my heart and the way it all worked out. Um, he literally flew to Montana. I already had a truck packed up, which he paid for, and we drove the same day. So um That's so good. Yeah, too. That works exactly that works, he works out all the details.

Israel Caminero: 38:48

You would have never known that it would have been him, and look what happened. Exactly, and even you questioning it, but hey, right, who else would it be?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 38:56

Right.

Israel Caminero: 38:56

And you you said you're still in good spirits and talk to him and everything like that, and he's clean and everything. He's doing great. And what about your son's father?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 39:05

So um, my son's father, um, after we came back from Montana, um, I kind of gave myself a little bit of distance to um reacclimate ourselves to the area and um just allow my son to slowly uh get back in contact with him.

Israel Caminero: 39:28

I just, you know, you weren't letting them talk to him, like not letting them, but you were kind of keeping up distant because of what was going on.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 39:35

Right. There came a point where I had to kind of just, you know, close it off and just really protect my son because you know the inconsistencies were too much and it was just causing a lot of pain in his life. Um, although while we were in Montana, he actually started calling my son often and FaceTiming him and reestablishing this connection with him. So I had hope that it was gonna be the same when we. came back here. Thankfully it was, you know, he did really well. We allowed my son to reconnect with him and have his visitation times. And we began healing things, you know, between us from the past as well, you know. Um and you know, he was able to um heal wounds that happened between him and my husband before my husband and I were even married, you know, you know, the whole circle that they don't like each other. The fights all this and um I mean it was just something I could have never put together myself, you know. And so he was doing really well. He um was clean and um unfortunately had you know a couple situations arise and uh he ended up relapsing and um passed away uh December 2nd of 2022.

Israel Caminero: 40:59

Oh I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah and I'm sure that was tough on your son. Yeah and you possibly too.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 41:08

It was it was hard. He passed away just five days before our son's birthday. So um you know my son really struggles with you know missing his father they had a really amazing bond. And then of course it brings things up in my own heart. I didn't see this coming God you you could have you know you could have gave me a sign. You could have showed me something you know to be honest with you it emotionally and and mentally it took me down for quite a while because one of the prayers I always had for my son was for me to never ever have to tell him that his father is no longer here. And so for that to actually come to pass I just was like what are you doing God? Yeah like like what why I I don't understand this like um and that was that was very very very very hard to deal with and I just remember crying out and telling him like if there's ever a time for you to show up in my son's life it's right now like you know you're the God of the impossible you can do anything you know and this is like shortly after me getting the news and I'm like just do a miracle you know raise him raise him I don't I don't know how you're gonna do it I don't know what you have to do. I know that I have the faith for you to do it like just do it. I need you to do it and um it wasn't part of the plan. You know I mean don't get me wrong I don't believe it was part of the plan for for my son's father to to die of an overdose but it wasn't part of the plan for him to bring them back and that was a hard reality to deal with I didn't lose my faith in God but I really shut down for a while emotionally and my son asking me all these questions why should I pray to God like of course you know he let my dad die and I those are the things that like I would go to the Lord and just be like what am I supposed to do with this because I'm trying to give you everything and I have nothing left to give and it was it was very heavy heavy heavy heavy time.

Israel Caminero: 43:26

But how's your son now?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 43:29

He still has his days you know he struggles um you know we have conversations and I talk to him and I just I just remind him you know of the conversation that that I had with God and um that I had shared with you before like shortly after his father had passed my husband grandmother called from Puerto Rico and she was you know just felt led to pray over me. And so she was praying and uh just asking God for healing in our life and in our hearts and all these things. And then you know she um she doesn't speak a word of English so she you know she's going in Spanish and at one point like I just began to cry because I hear her and the words that she said were um in reference to my son's father, you know, like someone was praying for him. Somebody was fighting for his soul and the Lord heard your prayers and I just began to weep you know and and she said and and the Lord wants you to know that she that he heard him in his final breath and and I just cried and and I just wept and it was like painful but comforting at the same time because all of those years of praying and all of those years of tears like at least I knew that he was in the hands of the Lord. Amen and so you know sometimes the Lord doesn't answer our prayers the way we want to think he's gonna answer them. But yeah.

Israel Caminero: 45:01

That's so good.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 45:02

Now does your son still question his faith uh every now and then still or he really struggles um he does not want to get up and go to church he doesn't really want to I don't know the the right word I want to use here uh he struggles with just surrendering to the Lord you know in in his understanding of what surrendering is for 10 years old you know but um he he feels very um his his words are always you know God never talks to me why should I pray when he never answers me you know and and it's hard as an adult to sit back and wait for God to answer prayers and also to explain to your 10 year old son like you know God's always speaking right we have to learn to hear his voice to know his voice and we have to be okay with not getting the answer that we always think we should have right so it's very difficult but you know he's he's still in a very slow healing process.

Israel Caminero: 46:13

Right well I mean considering what he went through 10 years old right I'm sure he has a lot of questions like you said but that's where you and your husband come at play and you start pouring into him and planting these seeds absolutely that are eventually going to bloom and hell no because like you all you and I both know it's God's timing. Absolutely and I'm sure that no matter how broken he is he still knows that God is there for him. Right. I would think coming from a Christian home like you guys are even though it happened I'm sure he still knows God's there. He's just upset at him.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 46:55

Right. Oh sure exactly and it it just puts the emphasis even more you know when the Lord says to train up a child and the way he should go and as he gets older he won't depart from it. And so many many many years you know I would sit there and we would do devotions you know myself as a single mom first um would do devotions with the kids and you know we'd pray every night and you know sometimes you get the eye rolling and you get the you know the huffing and the puffing but you know deep down that this is their you know this was the one consistent solid thing that they had and they did look forward to it. And so there's times now in conversation where I I see that those seeds have blossomed even just a little bit you know in different things. And um I'm I'm very grateful for my husband. He is um he's definitely been exactly what we need.

Israel Caminero: 47:52

So amen yeah my blessings to him for stepping up and doing what he has to do.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 47:58

Yeah it it was hard it was hard to to give in to him I I um I wouldn't say I didn't feel like I deserved his love. It was very hard to accept his love. He's a very very loving person and he I mean like I'm not gonna lie like I would get annoyed because he adores me so much and he's so like affectionate and and I'd be like oh my gosh what is wrong with this guy and but because I was not used to it I was just gonna say that it was very overwhelming and and so I'm I'm very blessed and and very grateful of that.

Israel Caminero: 48:34

That's great. That's great. That's an incredible story with your son's father and how you prayed for your ex-husband and him both and how they both changed you know but unfortunately the thing happened to him that shouldn't have but life life is life right you know sometimes there's a curveball yeah how how are you guys doing today as far as your faith and everything I know you have your your company that you're starting and I'm sure you're gonna be singing somewhere I know eventually you were a worship leader at at a church that you no longer attend to but I'm sure you'll be somewhere. So how are you guys doing now like spiritually and family wise are you guys okay?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 49:25

Yeah so um like I said you know losing my son's father uh took a big hit um I kind of secluded myself for a while just kind of not really questioned God but questioned God you know what I mean like like I shared with you the one time like I I remember just asking him like Lord why why have you made me a person who has such deep deep faith for things if I'm not always going to see these things come to pass you know and like the one you know just me asking the Lord about like his father and all that kind of stuff and and the one thing that the Lord showed me in that situation was that he doesn't want to leave glory. Who wants to leave glory and come back down to where the suffering and everything is and and you know my heart had to accept that and my heart had to truly be grateful to the Lord for that because God forbid we die in our sin at any point in time. You know what I mean? That we're we're playing with our destiny right there, you know so he was gracious enough to allow him to go during this time and and where he's at right now is better than ever being down here on this earth, you know and and then the other thing that he showed me that I was reading in Matthew no I apologize in in John and it speaks about how you know there's sowers and there's harvesters and you know and and sometimes we plant seeds and we don't always get to see the harvest. And sometimes the harvest is for somebody else's blessing. And so you know it it just it brings things into perspective sometimes that the the work that we do for the Lord isn't for our glory it isn't for our enjoyment it isn't for our entertainment it's for the purposes of those coming next and so um you know we're we're we're doing well we're hanging in there um I actually just recently reached out to my pastors at my church and um will most likely be joining a worship team again. I knew it so um that is coming and I know that you know that is part of the Lord's plan. I know that I'm a worshiper and you know it's it's hard to focus on your problems and it's hard to be bogged down with life when you're busy worshiping the Lord. Right. So um you know there's that and yeah I mean he's blessed me with a business and uh it's doing well and we're growing and and I'm just believing that you know he's gonna keep bringing the right people and giving me the wisdom to you know create the things that he's given me and keep going.

Israel Caminero: 52:22

As long as you put him first everything's gonna flourish. Absolutely if you don't put him first nothing will flourish. That's what I always say. Well I appreciate you being here for the what 15th I'm I'm kidding. Like I said it was hard to get her here like we recorded before and I can't even tell you what happened with that but it was like trying to set up appointments to meet up with her and just you know life is life. But we're finally here and we're finally doing it and she finally gets to share her testimony like she said it's not to glorify herself it's to glorify God and what God did in her life and what he's doing in her life because he's not done yet you know but at this point I have a question that I need to ask you which I ask every guest and I asked you before but I'll ask it again do you have a go-to verse in the Bible that's like your favorite verse that you always go to in time of turmoil or just when you need to hear it yeah so it's not really my turmoil verse so to speak but um it's just a verse that the Lord kind of took me to probably back in 2020 and since then it really just has you know it's just been the verse and it's found in Jeremiah 33 3 and it says call to me and I will answer you and I will show you great and mighty things which you do not know.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 53:51

And so I think a lot of times you know our prayers are kind of maybe self-centered or self-seeking or you know not in complete alignment with him and so we don't always get the answers. You know and but like you know when when we're just speaking to the Lord one on one like like he's just right here in front of our face and we're just talking to him and when our heart's desire is to truly know him he will show us those secret things and yeah that's kind of been my verse.

Israel Caminero: 54:24

Amen that's a good one too my next question is my let's go back in time section I officially named it last time you were here but didn't get to actually say it but now I'm saying it again and I gotta find some music for that. But um my question is if Christy from today can go back in time and talk to Christy from way back and let her know the things that she's seen and knows, what would you say to her even though Christy from the old probably wouldn't listen because she was hardheaded and wasn't following Christ or had Christ in her heart what would you say to the old Christy?

Kristy Santiago Perez: 55:06

Yeah. And my answer is going to be the same is that do not ignore the mechanisms of the devil. And so even though I wasn't strictly raised in a Christian home I had some seeds planted along the way you know there's times in our lives where we think we can handle things without God or we kind of give God a little bit of control and then you know we kind of take it over from there and um it allows us to get ourselves in situations that we were never meant to be in or that we shouldn't be in and all because we have this mentality of you know I know what I'm doing I can handle myself I never get out of control don't ignore the mechanisms of the devil you could save yourself so much pain.

Israel Caminero: 55:50

Amen and I'm sure young Christy would have been like get out of my face I don't want to hear that stuff most likely but yeah I'm glad you were here Christy thank you for sharing that like I said it's gonna touch someone because a lot of you know some people have similar stories and we don't know that and we might not even know these people they might just be listening and going through the same thing that you just shared and that's what this is about is just letting them know that they're not alone and God could work wonders in their life and you can find Christy on Instagram right on Instagram I do have um well I have obviously a personal page I have a business page um but if you're looking for the business page it's Sunshine Essentials on Instagram and uh there I list all of the products that I make and just the stuff that God's been blessing me with and allowing me to you know cultivate my own uh plants and herbs and all that kind of stuff so I can provide healthy and safe uh products for my family and for anybody that's looking for that kind of stuff. And they're all non-toxic and organic which is great because in this day and age you don't know what you're taking or putting on yourself or anything like that. But yeah thank you. I just want to thank you again Christy for being here. Your testimony is very powerful. And for everyone listening in if they ever want to share that testimony you can reach me at living testimonies at hopmail.com and remember it's not about you it's about glorifying what God did in your life or is doing in your life you can hear this podcast on every platform that's out there right now.

Kristy Santiago Perez: 57:37

I'm not even going to name them because there's too many thank you for listening but Christy before we leave can you close us out in prayer please absolutely Father God I thank you for this day Lord I thank you for this opportunity to just give you the glory for all that you have brought me through Father God I pray that uh these words would just touch somebody's life today Lord that may be going through a similar situation or possibly went through this in the past and have held on to it and and not released it, Father God. I pray Lord that you would allow forgiveness and healing and compassion to come into their hearts Father God. Lord I ask right now for even the offenders Lord Jesus that you would bring conviction upon them Father God Lord that that they would just be released from the the trauma and the the the prison that they have been holding themselves in Father God Lord I thank you that you are you are mighty to save Lord it doesn't matter what we're going through it doesn't matter what we're in it doesn't matter who we've become Lord God your mercy is just so powerful that it can reach to the deepest depths of the darkest places and pull us out Father God make us white as snow. And I just thank you and I I praise you for that Father God. Lord I ask right now that you would just pour a special blessing upon Israel and his family Lord I pray for healing I pray for restoration I pray for sanctification I pray Father God that you would just pour an overwhelming abundant amount of love and support and just supernatural healing upon their lives right now Father God and I just thank you once again for this opportunity to give you all the glory and the honor and praise in Jesus' name amen.

Israel Caminero: 59:25

Amen amen thank you for that thank you so much thanks again for being here Christy um you could listen to this podcast on every platform out there possible. I just want to thank you for those that are gonna tune in that haven't tuned in yet for those that have been supporting me thank you from the bottom of my heart I just want to say have a great day and my blessings to you